This weekend marks the 7th month of my employment as a Bar Back, a profession for which I certainly never excepted to find my in, yet here I am, barely able to find more than 2 consecutive days off, knees, shot, relationships affected at best, voided at worst. Yet here I stand, er sit.
I refrained from posting because I realized that not even my close friends, let alone acquaintances, to say nothing of blog readers want to hear about my random trivial working life; I realize it's petty and uninteresting, so I made the decision to spare you all the boredom.
That being said, I suppose I could spin certain observations into narratives that may hold one's attention, but probably not. Not too mention, I've just been too tired too tired too even try. You can chalk it up to drinking too much, money issues or my "place" in the world. My perspective is simply too warped, both fragile and raw.
My days and nights blend together into an endless continuum of set shifts of work, and ones asked of me at the last moment that I feel I can't pass up, because...I live on tips, or more specifically the random generosity of random strangers grateful or not more my submissive service.
Most nights, when I close down the bar, I seek safe transportation home, in a beautiful yet very dangerous city, pocket full of hard earned and usually lean cash, ready to be stolen.
The grateful nights my friend does not pick me up (bless him) I keep my Bar Key, a useless weapon, hidden in my front pocket, hiding it so not as to tip off an offender as to my occupation, yet keeping it "ready" as a defense mechanism.
My days are short, isolated, the nights, long, the mornings after even longer and involve too much thinking about my current life; social, work and romantic inclinations almost never blend well at these times.
I've been having fucked up "dreams" that entwine these various parts of my disparate life. Sometimes they help to make sense of it, other times, they make it more confusing.
So you see, none of the above is an excuse...merely an explanation. Or maybe not, it's up to you.
7 comments:
I guess we have to remember that if we had sunshine in our life everyday we would be a desert. Even people who you perceive as having the good life have their moments. Every day beings a new opportunity for something new, especially if you come face to face with new and some interesting people. You don't owe us a blog entry. I wait for your updates. You got up today, that is a plus!! :-)
Honestly?
Whether it be "mundane" or not, I'm just glad to see you post something, Justin.
It means you're alive and well (for the most part!) and still connected with the blogosphere.
-Dean
I want to read about your work stuff.
You have a talent into turning the most mundane situations, into outrageous and hilarious anecdotes!
I'm with Mind Of Mine on that one.
Justin,
Always enjoy your posts...no matter what!
I'm a little concerned you are working too hard when you reference your "place" in the world. With all of your talents, your place is effing anywhere you want to be.
Hoping you can take a couple of days off and go on the prowl with Montrose.
Take care of yourself. May your dreams go from "fucked up" to "fucking brilliant!!"
Best,
Alex
I can relate to your set back. I was in a very similar situation nearly a decade ago, when I was laid off on September 1, 2001. I'm sure you can recall what followed about a week and a half later, but perhaps you do not realize the tailspin it set in motion for the U.S. economy. All I can suggest is keep your friends close - they make for an excellent support group. You will persevere.
I'm thinking of being a bar back to earn some extra cash and eventually become a bartender. I hope it is not that bad ; (
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