I'M GOOD...HOW ARE YOU?

*Perfunctory blog post alert*

I really feel like my life is getting better; a series of small, yet important victories has led me to believe that I am capable of change and more importantly that I'm not a total fucking asshole/fuck-up. I got ways to go, but I think I'm on the right path.

Although I'm not totally sober (I've had some drinks here and there, and there) I am proud to say I have not ingested a single controlled substance, and I've got my drinking in check. It hasn't been easy, but feeling healthy-ish has been it's own unique award.

Too bad it's so damn cold out here in Chicago; it keeps me from going to the gym as frequently as I would like, and I keep picking up more and more shifts at work (which is it's own work out). And obviously I'm walking EVERYWHERE not by choice, but that's OK.

Overall, I guess my life is a precarious balance between being boring and responsible, hence this ho-hum blog post. But it's better than posting about how I got smashed and woke up next to someone I don't recognize, right?

Hope you all are doing well. Let's agree to not make 2011 suck, cool?

BAR MONEY IS GROSS

Every week or 2 I count out all the cash I make in tips; I get nervous keeping all this cash on hand, so I make it a habit to deposit it on a regular basis. So when I am about to make a deposit, I take time to count all the bills in my possession not once, not twice, but three times (I'm awful at math) and even place them in the same direction, carefully unfolding any errant corners.

Counting up $700+ in small bills today, I wondered aloud, is it possible to get a contact high of residual cocaine from this paper? Probably not. But it's gross still, as most of this paper money is drenched in beer or liquor, and in this particular case, I just found a single dollar bill with BLOOD on it.

Fuck, I think I need to invest in a box of latex gloves to handle this currency. Or at the least some hand sanitizer (although I have my doubts about it's effectiveness). That all being said, and say what you will about the service industry, I FUCKING LOVE being paid in cash at the end of every night I work.

PS - Feeling much, Much, MUCH better than last week. :)

PPS - Not out of the woods yet, Miss Gloria, but getting a bit closer...

MIDWEST "ACTION"

Montrose (The New Camera) and are getting along well!

GOT LAID AGAIN

Somehow I managed not to fuck this burgeoning relationship up: cute Latino guy came over AGAIN today, and did things to me that...make me stutter. Damn, maybe it's a long way coming, but seriously, this guy seems to have fallen from the sky, and into my lap. I feel so easy around him. And Holy Shit are his lips awesome...so fun to kiss. I'm gonna go daydream now.

BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER!

After a look through my archives, I was surprised NOT to find a post about my downstairs neighbor. I'm certain there is at least one out there, either way, she's a raging Polish bitch who rarely hesitates to call my landlord on me for trivial matters that can be solved without a third party.

Case in point: the very first night I moved in ex-roomie and I introduced ourselves, and went so far as to offer both our cell numbers, with the hope that if we got too loud she could simply call us and let us know. Neighborly? No? [Ex-Roomie back me up here!]

So the first night we're both un-packing; I'm NOT rawking out to some NPR jazz on my fucking clock radio. Next morning at 8AM my cell rings and it's my landlord, asking me to "be more considerate" towards my new neighbors. FUCK. THAT. (un)NOISE.

This foreshadowed many, many additional calls from my landlord, via downstairs Polish woman. Some of which, I'll admit, we're probably warranted. I like to listen to shit fuckin' loud, but I've learned to listen to music while stationed at my PC wearing headphones. Maybe she doesn't like the sound of me fucking guys with vigor, but that ain't gonna change anytime soon.

Still, we learned to get along. After 2 years of her ignoring my "good mornings" and "good afternoons", and holding the doors to our place open, to help her ease her groceries in, I totally won her over. She still won't hesitate to hang a broom against her ceiling/my floor if I'm pissing her off, but, she's FUCKING MOVING OUT in a month! WOOT!

This is awesome on so many levels. Not only can I assert my dominance towards my next new downstairs neighbors, I can also attempt to re-negotiate the amount I pay for rent with my landlord (this building is quickly emptying out, there are vacancies all up in this bitch).

I'll admit it though, I might miss her presence; still is/was an invaluable resource about the shady side of this particular 'hood. She witnessed the transformation of this place over the course of 15+ years; way back then gang banger wanna be's used to smoke joints in the lobby of my building, and because of her constant bitching, she actually convinced the landlord to install a lock on the first door, to get them out.

Now that she's leaving...I might have to take her stewardship upon my back and keep not only my landlord in line, but also stupid punk-ass gang bangers-to-be. I gotta OWN this shit yo'!