TCB AND THEN SOME

I had a rather productive evening last night and took care of a few things. Let’s review…

-Laundry…2 loads of clothes and my sheets.

-Cleaned out the fridge (it smelled like something died in there).

-Stocked up on 2 vital “food” groups…Budweiser and Evan Williams whiskey.

-Caved in and ordered digital cable from Comcast…no more missed Cubs games for me!

-Balanced my checkbook (found extra money! WOOT!).

-Paid all my bills (there’s goes that extra found money).

-Acquired a particularly strong strain of a certain plant-like substance.

-Shredded 2 months worth of credit card offers.

-Took out all the trash and recycling.

-Dusted like I was high on meth (although in reality I was just stoned).

-Watched the Cubs sweep the Atlanta Braves…watch out Florida Marlins, you’re next on my boys’ hit list (sorry VJ)!

-Called my landlord about my leaky toilet (he promises to fix it today).

-Dropped off my dry cleaning (finally).

Things I didn’t do:

-Go to the gym.

-Call my Mom.

-Blow Grady Sizemore.

Well, that about covers it. I think this makes up for being a lazy piece of shit for most of the week. Happy Friday!

WOOT! MY CAR IS FIXED!

After getting my hopes up several times, today's call from the body shop was not a pointless update ("sir, you're car is still being repaired, no, we don't know when it will be done", etc). Instead they told me that my car was fixed and ready to go home!

I left work early and drove over the body shop, where my no longer fucked up baby was glinting the sun. Sigh, I fell in love all over again...

It's in better shape then now then before it sideswiped, seeing as the that rim is new (and free of any road rash) and is the rear bumper (which had all sorts of dings from parallel parking) not to mention the rear quarter panel, door, mirror, window and most of the rear suspension.

The final total was $7,333.02, of which I had to charge $500 to my plastic, which totally sucks but hey, that federal rebate check will cover that and leave me with some money to blow on shoes, clothes or maybe even a tattoo.

After signing the paperwork and doing an inspection (they left wax in a few places, you think I'm not going to notice that shit?) and I got in, started her up and forgot how sensitive the gas pedal can be and nearly peeled out of the garage into traffic. Oops.

On the short drive home I decided to BUMP the speakers with a The Rapture's "House of Jealous Lovers". It's Friday, I got a drink in my hand and the Cubs are playing. I need to get my ass to a bar. But before I do (or before you do) enjoy some music!

THINGS TO DO IN DENVER WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK

Since I got back from Denver, I've been asked the same question several times, "did you go skiing?" or "how was the snow?" Frankly, I wouldn't know. The weekend was spent drinking heavily in many of the bars that Denver has to offer.

Now, that may sound like a wasted trip, but seeing as the purpose of the trip was to hang out with my bestest high school friend, I must declare "mission accomplished".

My friend Gloria picked me up from the airport and said "let's do some damage to our livers this weekend!" You see, she had a kid about 2 1/2 years ago (awesome kid, BTW), and since she's married (awesome husband too) she doesn't get out like she used to. Me being in town for the weekend was an excuse to party, and party we did...

We had lunch and made a bee line for the liquor store, and within 2 hours of being on the ground I had already consumed 2 stiff Rum and Cokes. The afternoon was spent drinking on the porch, looking at the tip-top of the Front Range and basking in what felt to me like Spring (it was sunny and probably in the mid-40's). Awesome.

We had been tossing ideas around on how best to spend Friday night. Gay bars were an obvious option, but my friend really wanted to see a rapper named "Brother Ali". Upon learning that this guy was an albino, Muslim from Minneapolis, I was sold. Who could pass that up? And we continue drinking...

....which necessitated a stop at the corner 7-11 for a fountain drink (to mix the rum with). What's the point of public transport if you don't have a cocktail in your hand, right? Right! The Light Rail Line dropped us off in the middle of Downtown, and we rode a cab all the way over to the Bluebird Theater. Just before we got dropped off, Gloria says to me "I hope the show doesn't sell out".

When we exit the cab several hippie dudes ask us "heeeeeeey guuuuuuys, got annnnnny extras?" DOH! We retreated to the bar across the street to regroup (also, we wanted to continue drinking). Plan B was set into effect; with the aid of my iPhone we plotted out all the gay bars in the vicinity. Several beers a a few shots later, we were off...

...to a bar called Charlie's. Upon entering, I immediately knew we had made a mistake. The place was dead. You ever see 3 people on a dance floor, and none of them are dancing with or near one another? Yeah, it was like that. However, Gloria needed to use the little girl's room, so I ordered us a pair of Heineken's. Then I started talking to a kinda hot guy about "THE" place to be on a Friday Night...

...which brings us to The Compound. This place was bumpin'! Boys, boys and more boys were awaiting us behind the ominous looking exterior. In one room there was a very busy bar, and yet somehow it was never a problem getting drinks. We roamed about and into the other room, which was a large dance floor. Now, usually DJ's at gay bars play shit that makes my ears bleed, but this place was spinning some good shit...

Around this time I openly asked "why am I so fucking drunk?" which was answered by Gloria "it's the altitude Dip-Shit". Oh, right, the thin air! Dang! Oh well, while Gloria was cutting up a rug with some homos (except for the one she gave her number to, which, as it turns out was NOT a homo) I wandered around talking to people, totally shit faced.

When I went to get another drink I opened my wallet but only found 3 dollars staring back at me. "It's a cash only bar back here" said the bartender. Fuck! So I went and found the ATM, intending to only take out $20, but I hit the wrong button and wound up with $80. Double-fuck. I got my drink and joined Gloria, as well as some boys on the dance floor. Good, blurry times were had.

Eventually, we decided to seek out another fine establishment. Someone suggested a neighborhood/gay/dive bar called (creatively) Boyz Town. From the outside it looked like a quiet, chill bar that would afford us a brief respite from the prior venue. That was not the case. Upon opening the door and walking in we saw...

STRIPPERS! Gloria and I turned to each other and exclaimed "AWESOME!". See, we always "joke" about going to Titty Bars, but this was WAY better. As she put it "this is the ultimate Win-Win situation". Indeed.

These boys were fuckin' H-A-W-T, and although most of them were probably straight, that did little to nothing to dampen my enthusiasm. Somehow, I got a second wind. Hot, nearly naked boys apparently have that effect on me.

Saturday was spent hung-the-fuck-over and sleeping and reading. Also, I became "Uncle Justin" and looked after Gloria's son. This kid is beyond awesome. We played catch, I pushed him around in his little wagon thing and such. I might never be a Father, but I'll always be a damn good Uncle!

Saturday Night...we went to a place called Cervantes Masterpiece Ballroom, which is a total hippie joint, and quite a fun one at that. There were 2 rooms, the main one (below) and another side room.

The main act was a band called The Motet, and in the other room there some "hippie techno" by a group called EOTO going on. That might sound terrible, but in reality it was fucking off-da-hook.

There is something about gay bars and hippie bars that make drinks really, really strong and soon enough I was feeling really good once again...which was around the time I ran into Pete. This is an old friend from high school that I always run into when in Denver, and always when I'm fucked up.

This was no exception, and at first I was confused why this hot guy (he looks kinda like Owen Wilson but without the jacked nose) knew my name, but after a few seconds I exclaimed "PETE!". He bought us some shots and we caught up before he disappeared into the crowd, probably to chase after some cute hippie girls.

Which brings me to another observation; Denver is FULL of beautiful people. When you think "hippie" you might think of hairy people wearing ill fitted clothing. Not the case. There were smokin' hot guys and very pretty woman everyone one looked.

Gloria, her friends and I had a blast that night. The next morning I was afraid to look at the receipt from my bar tab...but it was only $5. Not sure that happened, but I'm not complaining (I'm told this place is notorious for forgetting to put drinks on your tab). Also, somehow I got blue paint on my coat. Hmmmm...

Needless to say, I had a blast in the Mile High City. It was great to hang with an old friend and also some new ones...thanks Denver!

JUSTICE - "D.A.N.C.E"

This track is my favorite "Pre-Game" song, by which I mean a song I play after getting out of the shower, and secretly dance to while deciding what to wear.

Don't make fun! Stop pointing! And laughing!

Anyways, Happy Friday!

Cool video, eh?