HMMM, THIS FEELS LIKE MORE THAN JUST AN AVERAGE TUESDAY...

SCENE: INTERIOR/APARTMENT/CHICAGO/NIGHT

Our young protagonist comes home from work. Though he heroically dropped off his dry cleaning (at night - who does that?) his energy is depleted from work, traffic and the Untied State's foreign policy.

He removes his work clothes, noticing his belly is not as taut as he would like it to be. Rather than hit the gym, he cracks a Miller Lite, and makes himself on a well worn leather couch. He flips about the television, before deciding to watch some Friday Night Lights DVDs...

JUSTIN: (to no one in particular) "this show is fucking great!"

[INCOMING]

ROOMIES CAT #1: "meeeew!"
JUSTIN: "who's more hot? Zach Gilford or Taylor Kitsch?"
ROOMIES CAT #1: "meeeew!"
JUSTIN: "RIGHT? I would so do both!"
ROOMIES CAT #1: "meeeew!"
JUSTIN: "oh hell ya kitty cat - I'd do 'em BOTH at the same time too!"
ROOMIES CAT #1: "meeeew!"
JUSTIN: "OK, fuck that! you're perverted..."

[INCOMING, YET AGAIN]

ROOMIES CAT #2: "...ahem, do not mind him, for he is callous and shallow..."
JUSTIN: "....."
ROOMIES CAT #2: "perhaps you have more important business to attend to..."
JUSTIN: "like what? I dropped off my dry cleaning!"
ROOMIES CAT #2: (contemplates the nails on his left paw) "...ahem..."
JUSTIN: (rolls eyes) "what the shit?"
ROOMIES CAT #2: "is today not an important day?"
JUSTIN: (gulps Miller Lite nervously) "...uh, no, not really...what are getting at? And why the fuck is a cat talking to me?"
ROOMIES CAT #2: (looks annoyed) "perhaps you should...um, blog about something...something special?"
JUSTIN: (gulps Miller Lite, some spills down his chin) "I already blogged about the HOTNESS that is Sidney Crosby...what more do you want from me?"
ROOMIES CAT #2: "...don't be an ass...check your blog - dipshit..."

Our young protagonist curiously probes about his blog...

GUY FROM CHICAGO BLOG: (filing nails) "...'bout fucking time asshole"
JUSTIN: "WHAT?"
GUY FROM CHICAGO BLOG: "like you don't know"
JUSTIN: "know what?"
GUY FROM CHICAGO BLOG: (arms folding) "fuck you!"
JUSTIN: "FUCK YOU!"
GUY FROM CHICAGO BLOG: (tapping right foot) "...pssssh..."
JUSTIN: "I have no time for this...get it off your damn mind!"
GUY FROM CHICAGO BLOG: (throws flower vase across room, barely missed Justin's head)
JUSTIN: "THE FUCK!?!"
GUY FROM CHICAGO BLOG: "You forgot our GODDAMN ANNIVERSARY! FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!"
JUSTIN: (realizing the gravity of the situation): "...I...uh, well, shucks, wanted it to be a surprise!"
GUY FROM CHICAGO BLOG: (throws yet another flower vase across room, barely missed Justin's head yet again)
JUSTIN: "I'm SORRY!"
GUY FROM CHICAGO BLOG: "...you don't love LOVE ME!"
JUSTIN: "stop typing in CAPS!"
GUY FROM CHICAGO BLOG: "...you don't love LOVE ME!"
JUSTIN: (tearing up, voice shaky) "I love you!"
GUY FROM CHICAGO BLOG: "...say it like you mean it!"
JUSTIN: (blubbering mess) "I LOVE YOU!"

OK - that's as far as that goes, haha. Thank you all for reading from time to time. I hope you enjoy reading this blog as much as I enjoy writing it. Honestly, when I first decided to start a blog I had very modest goals to maybe form a few informal friendships.

Needless to say this forum has wildly exceeded my expectations. It has truly proved to be a "game-changer" in my life, and it is something I am beyond grateful for. Still have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that's it's been a year since this endeavor began...

WOOT!

100 THINGS ABOUT ME

This is my 100-th post! Per blogger tradition, here's a 100 things about me:

1. I once had a Jesus sex dream.

2. Cinnamon is my arch nemesis.

3. While drawing one day in 5th grade I somehow managed to stab my left hand with a pencil, the tip of which is still lodged in my left hand.
4. My latent Chicago accent rears it's ugly head after a few drinks.
5. Although I grew up in the Chicagoland area, I was actually born outside of Toronto, thus I have dual-citizen-ship, (it's my get out of jail free card!).
6. The first car I drove after getting my license was my Mom's white 1994 Pontiac Trans Am, (275 horsepower V-8 engine yo!).
7. I'm about almost 8 inches taller than my older brother.
8. The first time I got drunk was at a frat party at OSU; I was in 7th grade.
9. I can't grow a beard or a mustache to save my life.
10. Without contacts or my glasses I can't see 3 feet in front of me.
11. I can only write in upper case.
12. The first time the concept of multiplication was introduced to me I cried.
13. I once drove a purple Lincoln Continental while high in acid.
14. There's a scar above my left eye from cracking my head open as a child.
15.For about the first year or so after I was born I had to wear casts in both of my legs so they would grow in the right direction.
16. My Mom always reminds how I almost never cried as a baby.
17. The first concert I ever saw was New Kids on the Block in 4th grade.
18. When I was 5 years old I had my first sip of beer at my family's Christmas party, (so I've been told).
19. I have an almost super-human resistance to any kind of motion sickness.
20. I don't eat sweets nor chocolate.
21. Although my short term memory can be faulty, my long term memory is impeccable.
22. The only time I was ever mugged was by a pack of Algerians in Paris, right off the Champs Elysee, (and no, the fuckers did NOT get my Francs).
23. I live with 2 cats and an archaeologists.
24. I have more female than male friends.
25. There's a picture of Vladimir Putin in my bathroom next to the toilet paper dispenser.
26. There's a picture of Karl Rove in my bathroom above the toilet.
27. There used to be a picture of George Bush on the back of the toilet lid.
28. I subscribe to the Economist, Car & Driver, the Atlantic Monthly, Wired and Details.
29. Favorite band: The Drive By Truckers.
30. I have never owned an American car.
31. By no means am I a vegetarian, but I can't eat meat off of a bone.
32. Best celebrity sighting? Bob Vila diving into the pool at the Loews Hotel in Santa Monica.
33. I made a short film about the human reproductive process set to Marvin Gaye's "Sexual Healing".
34. I made a parody of "The Color of Money" in high school.
35. If I could have sex with any dead celebrity, hands down, it would be James Dean, (Montgomery Clift is a close 2nd).
36. I've driven from Chicago to LA, Chicago to upstate New York and Chicago to Miami.
37. I can deal with extreme cold much better than extreme heat.
38. I rarely if ever get tan, thus I'm prone to getting burnt.
39. I dropped ecstasy for the first time on the night of my Senior Prom.
40. Random strangers in my neighborhood ask me if I'm Russian or Ukrainian, (I'm German, thanks people).
41. The first and only time I ever kayaked was across a channel near Juneau, Alaska. A pod of killer whales circled us the for much of the 3+ hour journey.
42. I've developed an unfortunate habit of knocking my roommate's plants over.
43. I can tell you the make and model of any car on any given street.
44. Hunter S. Thompson is my favorite writer.
45. Grades 1-8 were spent at a strict Catholic elementary school, (surprise surprise!).
46. Roughly half of my friend's are Jewish.
47. Though I've tried my hand at the guitar, piano and drums, I can't play and of them.
48. I've never had a piercing or a tattoo.
49. I cringe at the sight of blood.
50. Coffee? Never had more than a few sips in my entire life.
51. It's rare for me to sleep past 9AM, no matter how late I stay up.
52. I can't cook for shit.
53. I have an "internal compass" and can almost always find my way around.
54. I've taken Aspirin/Advil maybe 4 times in the last 6 months.
55. Sunday is my favorite day of the week, and Monday is always the worst.
56. I don't have a "type" but I'm more attracted to Latinos than any other ethnicity.
57. I'm not a gambler but I love playing poker.
58. I'm a sucker for British accents (especially working class ones, though I can't understand a single word of it, haha).
59. My dream job? Operating a wreaking ball!
60. My worst job? When I was 15 I worked at Boston Market for 2 days.
61. In the last 6 months I went to Phoenix twice, St. Louis twice, Omaha twice, Cabo San Lucas and DC once.
62. My drink of choice is Jameson's, straight up.
63. It broke my heart but I once threw 2 grams of the best bud I've ever smoked into a canal in Amsterdam right before I hopped in a cab to go to the airport.
64. The best flight I ever had was from Amsterdam to Chicago...my father and I got bumped up to first class and I drank my way across the North Atlantic in Style.
65. I really need a fucking haircut.
66. If you haven't noticed from my 99 other posts, I use the word "fuck" a lot.
67. I'm a really, really messy toothbrush er.
68. Speaking of dental care, I have a very high tolerance for pain and once had a cavity filled without benefit of Novocaine or any other painkillers.
69. Not my favorite sexual act, but by no means is it my least favorite.
70. The smell of a Home Depot turns me on, (it's the lumber, haha).
71. I never wear cologne.
72. The longest concert I ever experienced was Phish's New Year's 2000 show in Florida. That shit went from 9PM to 5AM.
73. I like to listen to my music really, really loud, (especially in the car).
74. I can't tie a tie.
75. Right now I'm wearing black boxer briefs, Addias soccer shorts, a white t-shirt and a black hoodie.
76. This shit is harder than I thought it would be...my favorite color is dark smokey gray.
77. Overlooking my bed is a framed poster of Robert De Niro in "Taxi Driver"; that shit is bad-ass.
78. I don't wear any jewelry, not even a watch. Ever.
79. The sight of a hot guy in a baseball uniform melts my mind.
80. I'm prone to judge a guy's looks based on his eyebrows.
81. My favorite part of a guy's body is his neck.
82. If I could change one thing about my body, it would be my pecs.
83. That being said, my legs and thighs kind of make up for that...amongst other things.
84. I consider my huge Irish friend my personal body guard, he'll kick your ass if you fuck with me!
85. I have a mirror with Clark Gable's face embedded into it in my hallway.
86. I get carded everywhere I go.
87. I never have cash on me.
88. My car is all the woman I'll ever need.
89. Love the sound of crickets at night.
90. Favorite sexual position? I like a guy on top riding me.
91. Making out is more intimate than sex.
92. I really like sneakers and would have a closet full of them if I could afford it.
93. I wear Jeans more often than not.
94. I don't bite my nails.
95. I have over 20 white t-shirts.
96. I drink shitty beer, (hey, Midwestern' boy here).
97. I'm a night owl and have a hard time falling asleep before 1AM.
98. Total neat freak! My closet is organized by color.
99. My middle name is Evan.
100. See below for a partial picture of me....

50 THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE

In light of my 50th post I thought it would be fun to come up with a list of things I want to do before I die.

1. Finish my Gus Greenbaum screenplay

2. Attend Skip Barber racing school

3. Visit James Dean’s grave site

4. Vote for the passage of same sex marriage legislation

5. Drink Jack Daniels with the Drive By Truckers

6. Take batting practice at Wrigley Field

7. Fly an airplane

8. Watch the sunset over the pyramids in Egypt

9. Buy my Dad a really nice watch

10. See my friend's kids graduate from college

11. Go swimming in "The Baths" at Virgin Gorda

12. Play Stud Poker at the Casino de Monte Carlo

13. See Buddy Guy perform at Buddy Guy's Legends

14. Go camping in Madagascar

15. Be the Best Man at my Brother’s wedding

16. Take the stairs to the top of the Sears Tower

17. Drink absinthe in Paris

18. Kiss the boy I had a huge crush on in high school

19. Stop pissing away money paying rent

20. Challenge Mike Sigel to a game of 8 ball

21. Learn to speak fluent Spanish

22. Have my palms read

23. Crash a wedding (and not because of that lame movie)

24. See the Northern Lights (again)

25. Learn how to sew a button (not likely with my thick fingers)

26. Learn how to tie a double Windsor knot

27. Say “thank you” to my first grade teacher

28. Take an entire year off work to read and take pictures

29. Live in Vancouver

30. Learn how to play my guitar

31. Build a dark room (digital is nice but it will never look better than 35mm film)

32. Overcome my fear of motorcycles

33. Get a Bachelor of Architecture degree

34. Run for a political office (local)

35. Be able to see without contacts or glasses (and no, I’m not getting Lasik)

36. Finally get my Louis Sullivan tattoo

37. Go to the real Oktoberfest in Munich

38. Take a train ride through Mexico’s Copper Canyon

39. Get fitted for a suit on Savile Row

40. Go to the Venice Film Festival

41. See Eddie Izzard perform live

42. Take my Step Dad to a Red Wings game

43. Buy my Mom a cabin in the White Mountains of New Mexico

44. Be a contestant on the Price is Right (I will rock Plinko)

45. Go kayaking on the north branch of the Chicago River (the nice part of the river without the floating bodies in it)

46. Rent the “Kingpin Suite” at the Palms Hotel in Vegas and throw a party for all my friends

47. Order the 64oz Porterhouse Steak at the Chicago Chop House

48. 2 words: Demolition Derby

49. 3 words: Cubs World Series

50. Win the lottery to pay for all the things on this list (or find a sugardaddy, haha)