Showing posts with label UNFORTUNATE BLOG POSTS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label UNFORTUNATE BLOG POSTS. Show all posts

Monday, January 23, 2012

I'M GOING STIR CRAZY

The "Stir Crazy" phenomenon is common this time of year for people, such as myself that live in Northern Climates. Obviously, it's been made worse with my reduced mobility. Although I can get around better now with this it's still no, ahem, walk in the park. It takes a ridiculous amount of time to do the things I am accustomed to. Like walking.

And although the help I've received from my friends and family, not to mention the hot fucking things the guy I'm seeing does to me, I still prefer to do things for myself. I've always been independent; despite my shortcomings, I pride myself on getting shit done not only for myself, but also for others. Thus my current frustration.

I have at least 3 or 4 more weeks of hobbling around; money is an issue too in that, yes, I am receiving Worker's Comp, but it's not close to paying my bills - although I'll make it work. Oh, and my co-worker's have established a slush fund for me, which is amazing and so sweet of them. But I like to earn my money. Ugh.

In the meantime, I am attempting to embark on various projects, such as learning plumbing (my kitchen sink is screwed up), organizing my pictures and writing - or rather dreaming up concepts of how to apply my latent talents. That being said, I would stab someone for the ability to get back to the gym. Or be able to work my shitty little job.

Be grateful for your health!

Friday, October 1, 2010

I'M ALL KINDS OF PISSED

The promotion I was given, got took back, in the space of 12 hours. Being a Bar back is far from a glamorous job, but I'm good at hacking away at it, and if I sometimes get beer sprayed in my face, so be it. So it was a very awesome elevation, to be told I would be a server...and then...NO.

Fuck. To add insult to injury, I worked tonight, on my night off, at the last moment (I was asked asked 12 hours prior) to cover a shift, which I dutifully did, and grinded my teeth serving Lincoln Park yuppies, up and down stairs all night...all the while a thin blonde girl was being trained for the server shift I was promised.

That's some bullshit right there, and although I did what was asked of me, I was vocal, and let it be known about my frustration...and then...I was tasked with doing inventory, counting every...fucking...bottle...of booze in the joint. This was not fun.

Oh, and I had a date, which I had to cancel on. Post work I went to the only bar in Boystown I am willing to step foot in, but no one, and I mean NO ONE would give me the time of day, which makes sense because I smelled like beer (but not in a fun/drunk way) and was literally wearing my clothes on my back (via a backpack).

CHRIST. Can a get a fucking break?

Monday, October 5, 2009

WARRING PARTIES

TO: LEFTY ARM
FROM: J's RIGHT HAND MAN
SUBJECT: VACATION
CC: JUSTIN

Hey asshole! It's been totally RAD not having to do anything lately. I mean, I think it's only fair that after 30 years it's your fucking turn to pull your weight. You think it's easy wiping this guy's ass? Or facilitating him jerking off? God...it was a fucking relief and a half after his car got stolen. You try learning how to drive stick! Ever hear of carpal tunnel syndrome you little bitch? Well, it's time for you to learn how to learn how to write. Or open doors. Or light cigarettes. Or open bottles. Or a million other fucking things I've been taking care of for far too long. It's time to buck up son!

Signed,
J's Right Hand Man

TO: J's RIGHT HAND MAN
FROM: LEFTY
RE: VACATION
CC: JUSTIN

First off, nice black Emo arm sling you got there. Did you pick that up at Hot Topic? Secondly, you look like you got worked over by a grain harvester. Nice bruises yo'. Thirdly, I'm the one with the sweet tattoo. Know why it's not on you? BECAUSE YOU'RE A DIRTY WHORE. I've sat in silent judgement of you and your actions for far too long. It's my time to shine you attention seeking ignorant slut. Eat a dick.

Signed,
Lefty

Friday, August 7, 2009

MY "NEW" WHIP

And by "my" I mean it's my brother's girlfriend's car that she has graciously allowed me to borrow. What's that term about not looking a "gift horse" in the mouth? I have no idea. But I do know that although this piece of shit is better than humping the bus.

Still, after smoking a hot piece of ass like my former ride, this seems unjust. Although it's clocked barely 58,000 miles, it screams in agony when asked to do modest things, like steer, brake or accelerate (if I ever find who stole my baby, he or they will lose a testicle, or 2).

When steering straight on, the steering wheel rests at a 45 degree angle. None of the right side doors lock. And it staggers to life when I twist the key. Oh, and it reeks of her dog. Am I bitching? Yes. Should I be? No.

Really, I'm trying my best not to be a little bitch, but...I'm driving a car with plastic wheel coverings! NOT FAIR! I thought if I did everything right, as in getting a decent education, showing up (mostly) to work on time, not being a douche bag, things would take care of themselves.

Never in my wildest, unforeseen dreams/nightmares would I think my life would result in driving a FUCKING Saturn. Ever. The irony is that I learned how to drive stick on my brother's Saturn coupe (oxymoron!) and hated that green-ish POS. UGH. I used to have an Acura, owned 2 VW's Jettas, rocked a Trans-Am and not one but 2 Mercedes Benz 300E's.

I guess I'm just a sore loser. :(

Friday, January 23, 2009

???

Liz: hi
u drnk
lol
sorry
me: YEAHPRETTYMUCHDARK&DRUNK HERE
:)
Sent at 1:58 AM on Friday
me: "I got a Benz and my bitch rides in da trunk"
did I really just hear this?
Liz: lol
lol
lol
yea
me: "get your robin hood on and put some pressure on the man"
!!!
hahahaha
Sent at 2:02 AM on Friday