FROM: J's RIGHT HAND MAN
Hey asshole! It's been totally RAD not having to do anything lately. I mean, I think it's only fair that after 30 years it's your fucking turn to pull your weight. You think it's easy wiping this guy's ass? Or facilitating him jerking off? God...it was a fucking relief and a half after his car got stolen. You try learning how to drive stick! Ever hear of carpal tunnel syndrome you little bitch? Well, it's time for you to learn how to learn how to write. Or open doors. Or light cigarettes. Or open bottles. Or a million other fucking things I've been taking care of for far too long. It's time to buck up son!
J's Right Hand Man
TO: J's RIGHT HAND MAN
First off, nice black Emo arm sling you got there. Did you pick that up at Hot Topic? Secondly, you look like you got worked over by a grain harvester. Nice bruises yo'. Thirdly, I'm the one with the sweet tattoo. Know why it's not on you? BECAUSE YOU'RE A DIRTY WHORE. I've sat in silent judgement of you and your actions for far too long. It's my time to shine you attention seeking ignorant slut. Eat a dick.