This weekend marks the 7th month of my employment as a Bar Back, a profession for which I certainly never excepted to find my in, yet here I am, barely able to find more than 2 consecutive days off, knees, shot, relationships affected at best, voided at worst. Yet here I stand, er sit.
I refrained from posting because I realized that not even my close friends, let alone acquaintances, to say nothing of blog readers want to hear about my random trivial working life; I realize it's petty and uninteresting, so I made the decision to spare you all the boredom.
That being said, I suppose I could spin certain observations into narratives that may hold one's attention, but probably not. Not too mention, I've just been too tired too tired too even try. You can chalk it up to drinking too much, money issues or my "place" in the world. My perspective is simply too warped, both fragile and raw.
My days and nights blend together into an endless continuum of set shifts of work, and ones asked of me at the last moment that I feel I can't pass up, because...I live on tips, or more specifically the random generosity of random strangers grateful or not more my submissive service.
Most nights, when I close down the bar, I seek safe transportation home, in a beautiful yet very dangerous city, pocket full of hard earned and usually lean cash, ready to be stolen.
The grateful nights my friend does not pick me up (bless him) I keep my Bar Key, a useless weapon, hidden in my front pocket, hiding it so not as to tip off an offender as to my occupation, yet keeping it "ready" as a defense mechanism.
My days are short, isolated, the nights, long, the mornings after even longer and involve too much thinking about my current life; social, work and romantic inclinations almost never blend well at these times.
I've been having fucked up "dreams" that entwine these various parts of my disparate life. Sometimes they help to make sense of it, other times, they make it more confusing.
So you see, none of the above is an excuse...merely an explanation. Or maybe not, it's up to you.