Friday, February 1, 2008

HEY PARK RIDGE, IL, IT'S CALLED SALT, TRY IT SOMETIME

RANT ALERT! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR ME BITCH, STOP READING....NOW!

OK - so, big storm last night. Actually, big winter storm yesterday, as it began around Noon. Snow started falling lightly, all Hallmark Greeting Card-like, then it gradually, ahem, snowballed, into large, fat, fucking flakes.

This was not an unforeseen occurrence. Warning's were issued throughout the day, advising motorists of the dangerous conditions about to hit the Greater Chicagoland area. But did we get to leave work early?

NO.

From my fourth floor perch I command a lovely view of I-294, and around 3PM traffic had slowed to a crawl. Then around 4PM, it was at a standstill. Fuck. Not good.

My immediate boss (the one that sends out e-mails like this) wold have let us out early (he is kinda cool like that, I must say) but he choose to "work from home", leaving us with the other boss, would was probably only half-joking when he suggested we all get cots and stay the night at the office.

Around 4:15PM, I said "fuck it" and left early. Now, one of the routes I take home rolls through Park Ridge, IL, which is an affluent suburb. However, they apparently have no money appropriated to clearing streets because they were not plowed very well, if at all and they choose to spread sand versus salt.
Fucking idiots.

As I approached a major intersection, hoping to make a left turn, I lightly tapped my brakes because I didn't think I would make the light. However, it was so slick that sailed through the red light and into oncoming traffic. The Acura was nearly crushed like a can of Sapporo beer.
Whew. Thank God for Camel Lights. Needless to say, my hands were shaking and my knuckles were white.

Once in Chicago proper, the streets were great. Salted to within an inch of it's life, Northwest Highway was a Godsend compared to any major arterial street in Park Ridge (I'm blaming this on Hillary for no other reason than for the fact that she grew up there).

Somehow I skated into to work this morning, hangover notwithstanding (Roomie's Birfday spectacular was last night), but it pissed me off that today neither of the boss's came in, nor did half of my other co-workers.

But I can't be too pissy now, they just announced that we are closing at 1PM. Oh boy! I can actually follow my spiritual adviser's (thanks Billy) advice to: "go home, open a beer, watch a little porn" because "you will feel much better".

Dunno...sounds risky, but I'm game.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've had a couple moments like that - ya get a little rusty down here in Florida - the camel lights help, don't they?

Frontier Psychiatrist said...

Maybe Chicago clears its roads well.

But Chicago property-owners don't shovel their fucking sidewalks. Perhaps my suburban Pennsylvania upbringing has instilled impossibly high snow-removal standards.

dollar said...

I was out walking around my neighborhood today. Damn, there are some really hot guys living in Chicago!

Just thought I would share.

S.B. said...

I hope that wise advice worked out for ya!