Rather than post one humongous post about the trip to NYC I thought I would break it up into smaller, more digestible chunks (some hiatus - two posts tonight!). Let's start at the end, shall we? We shall...
After having a lovely dinner last night with my Father in a lovely Italian bistro on the Upper East Side (a random "celebrity" sighting occurred, more on that later) I made plans to meet up with K after he got off work.
The P.O.A. (Plan of Action) was to get "a drink". One drink turned into me dropping over $100 on booze Sunday night, but I digress...
K met me at my "posh" hotel (his words, not mine, haha) on 49th and Lexington (no, I did not stay at the Waldorf, but close enough) and we braved the rain to march across to the West Side to JP's favorite haunt, Vlada.
The place was relatively quiet and we got to have a nice quiet convo, which was nearly impossible with the Madness that was Friday Night.
We sipped on overpriced cocktails and discussed all sorts of things that gay men tend to converse about...however our discourse quickly devolved into gay male bitch-ness with the arrival of the Perfect Ass.
Now, most bars in NYC are exceedingly narrow; those that have some sort of table/chair setup forgo traditional bar stools to make this physically possible. Those that prefer to belly up to the bar do so standing on their feet.
Midway into our second round of drinks, in walks this adorable/hot-as-hell guy with dark hair and an ass to die for.
Usually, I would have looked, played out some dirty scenario in my mind and said to whoever is near me "holyfuckingshitlookatthatass" and left it at that. If only it was that simple...
K and I literally had our backs to the wall and had no choice (well, we could have shifted to the little cube seat things) but to drink in the sight of this man's ass.
A few weeks back I blogged about the how I may have seen the "Perfect Ass". Had that guy I saw on my lunch break had an "Ass Off" with this guy, he would have lost, and been sent home ashamed.
It's safe to say we were content to view this particular specimen from not-sofar, however the arrival of his companion caused our latent Bitch to go into overdrive.
PA's "friend" was not nearly as attractive as he was, and frankly, it pissed us the fuck off. With each succeeding cocktail we became more adamant in our believe in the inherit unfairness that is the world we live in.
At one point PA ventured out for a smoke, and Guy That Didn't Deserve That Ass split for the pisser. I made a mad dash for my coat so I could grab my smokes in the hope of striking up a random convo with PA.
Once out there, I tried to make eye contact with him and perhaps talk about the weather (or invite him back to my posh hotel room for biblical session of sweaty boy love, yeah right!).
But a funny thing happened...I realized I had a cute guy that I like back home, and I made a resolution to keep it in my pants this weekend.
The sudden arrival of Guy That Didn't Deserve That Ass, who leveled a cold, icy stare at me caused me to stub out my smoke and return to K, and my drink inside.
Once they returned to their perch at the bar (no less than 6 feet from our eyes) he began a campaign of flexing his "asset" in a series of poses as if to mock us; as if to say "you know you want this ass, but this lame, weird dude already got it, bitches".
After another 20-30 minutes we could no longer take it and we decided to move onto greener/gayer pastures.
However, perhaps just to spite us further, both of these guys got up to leave just when we did, and the four of us simultaneously fumbled about, donning our coats/hats/scarves. K remarked how these two guys seem to linger near us for just a few moments too long.
Perhaps it was the vodka...but something else seemed to be at play just below the surface. And the sight of this object hovering above the entrance to the bar did nothing to ally my assumptions, however unfounded they may have been, (in case you cannot make out the neon, it reads "Sin Will Find You Out").
After having a lovely dinner last night with my Father in a lovely Italian bistro on the Upper East Side (a random "celebrity" sighting occurred, more on that later) I made plans to meet up with K after he got off work.
The P.O.A. (Plan of Action) was to get "a drink". One drink turned into me dropping over $100 on booze Sunday night, but I digress...
K met me at my "posh" hotel (his words, not mine, haha) on 49th and Lexington (no, I did not stay at the Waldorf, but close enough) and we braved the rain to march across to the West Side to JP's favorite haunt, Vlada.
The place was relatively quiet and we got to have a nice quiet convo, which was nearly impossible with the Madness that was Friday Night.
We sipped on overpriced cocktails and discussed all sorts of things that gay men tend to converse about...however our discourse quickly devolved into gay male bitch-ness with the arrival of the Perfect Ass.
Now, most bars in NYC are exceedingly narrow; those that have some sort of table/chair setup forgo traditional bar stools to make this physically possible. Those that prefer to belly up to the bar do so standing on their feet.
Midway into our second round of drinks, in walks this adorable/hot-as-hell guy with dark hair and an ass to die for.
Usually, I would have looked, played out some dirty scenario in my mind and said to whoever is near me "holyfuckingshitlookatthatass" and left it at that. If only it was that simple...
K and I literally had our backs to the wall and had no choice (well, we could have shifted to the little cube seat things) but to drink in the sight of this man's ass.
A few weeks back I blogged about the how I may have seen the "Perfect Ass". Had that guy I saw on my lunch break had an "Ass Off" with this guy, he would have lost, and been sent home ashamed.
It's safe to say we were content to view this particular specimen from not-sofar, however the arrival of his companion caused our latent Bitch to go into overdrive.
PA's "friend" was not nearly as attractive as he was, and frankly, it pissed us the fuck off. With each succeeding cocktail we became more adamant in our believe in the inherit unfairness that is the world we live in.
At one point PA ventured out for a smoke, and Guy That Didn't Deserve That Ass split for the pisser. I made a mad dash for my coat so I could grab my smokes in the hope of striking up a random convo with PA.
Once out there, I tried to make eye contact with him and perhaps talk about the weather (or invite him back to my posh hotel room for biblical session of sweaty boy love, yeah right!).
But a funny thing happened...I realized I had a cute guy that I like back home, and I made a resolution to keep it in my pants this weekend.
The sudden arrival of Guy That Didn't Deserve That Ass, who leveled a cold, icy stare at me caused me to stub out my smoke and return to K, and my drink inside.
Once they returned to their perch at the bar (no less than 6 feet from our eyes) he began a campaign of flexing his "asset" in a series of poses as if to mock us; as if to say "you know you want this ass, but this lame, weird dude already got it, bitches".
After another 20-30 minutes we could no longer take it and we decided to move onto greener/gayer pastures.
However, perhaps just to spite us further, both of these guys got up to leave just when we did, and the four of us simultaneously fumbled about, donning our coats/hats/scarves. K remarked how these two guys seem to linger near us for just a few moments too long.
Perhaps it was the vodka...but something else seemed to be at play just below the surface. And the sight of this object hovering above the entrance to the bar did nothing to ally my assumptions, however unfounded they may have been, (in case you cannot make out the neon, it reads "Sin Will Find You Out").
[CODA: Soon after arriving in NYC Billy took me to Vlada and I was struck by this sign, not only because of the obvious/ominous implications of the message, but also because I knew that I had seen image somewhere before. Soon after parting with the weird scene that was Perfect Ass and Guy That Didn't Deserve That Ass, I realized that I had seen this image hundreds of times before because it used to be on the opening credits on early 90's SNL. Go figure!] 
11 comments:
I'm glad your fellow bloggers did not leave you to try and "brave" New York all alone. I can't wait to hear more stories. Oh and pictures. There has to be pictures of all of you together.
Sounds like a memorable night. Although I still want to know what happened on Friday.
Vlada looks like a real cool place to hangout.
I'll keep it on my list.
Sounds like you and fellow bloggers had a bad ass weekend, can't wait to hear more about Sunday.
sounds like a great night had by all.
Justin, you know what I was thinking after I got home on Sunday.......
What if that guy was a rent boy or a hustler or something. Wouldn't that be the only way that pairing would make sense? Even if it isn't the case, it makes me feel much better about the whole situation. That guy wasn't right throwing all those humps in our face.
I wish we would have had a camera with flash to show everyone what great lengths this guy went to in order to put his ass on display. There was no way that was a comfortable way to stand at all!
Now you know why I love Hells Kitchen...
And WHAT did I do to Christian? I am hearing stories but don't remember and thought I did remember everything. LOL
sounds like you guys had a ton of fun. Makes me think I should head down the coast sometime and experience it myself.
glad youre having fun. betch.
i'm jealous! how many "woots" did you let out this weekend?
sounds like a great weekend so far.
bound to be another perfect ass in chicago. ha
later.
You guys had a blast. Fun times!
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