1. Don't ever, Ever, EVER fucking drink and drive.
2. But if you do, don't drive a 12 ton truck loaded with 6 tons of steel, leave Wrigley Field drunk, hit a moped, drag it down 3 blocks and hide in a bar. That happened to this guy.
3. Don't get so wasted you have unprotected anal sex, get genial warts, in your ass, thus being unable to shit, and have to have surgery to remove said warts.
4. Moving drugs across state lines is NEVER a good idea. After serving 11 years in federal jail, this other guy is on probation for 9 years.
5. Being an IT consultant does not make you immune to heroin addiction.
6. Face the music. This women ran on a open warrant for 13 years, and one day she blew a stoplight.
7. If you happen to get a DUI, don't get another one 3 months after your prior arrest. I know 4 people that have done that. I'm not judging, but that's some retarded stupid shit right there.
8. Meth is a terrible drug, one that apparently will get your brother killed by the Filipino military. I'm not joking, This one guy was hunted down and barely escaped being executed.
9. Men that beat women are useless pieces of shit. There is NO excuse.
10. The American legal system is corrupt, vile and only exists a vessel to deprive poor people of money to fill their municipal coffers so fucking politicians can remain in power, and keep fucking the lower class in the mouth.
Whew, alright, glad I got that off my chest. It only took 38 sessions of group therapy and $1,500 to acquire that "knowledge". And I only have to go back once a month for the next 12 fucking months to remind me of the terrible mistake I made.