Wednesday, August 25, 2010

BAR MONEY IS GROSS

Every week or 2 I count out all the cash I make in tips; I get nervous keeping all this cash on hand, so I make it a habit to deposit it on a regular basis. So when I am about to make a deposit, I take time to count all the bills in my possession not once, not twice, but three times (I'm awful at math) and even place them in the same direction, carefully unfolding any errant corners.

Counting up $700+ in small bills today, I wondered aloud, is it possible to get a contact high of residual cocaine from this paper? Probably not. But it's gross still, as most of this paper money is drenched in beer or liquor, and in this particular case, I just found a single dollar bill with BLOOD on it.

Fuck, I think I need to invest in a box of latex gloves to handle this currency. Or at the least some hand sanitizer (although I have my doubts about it's effectiveness). That all being said, and say what you will about the service industry, I FUCKING LOVE being paid in cash at the end of every night I work.

PS - Feeling much, Much, MUCH better than last week. :)
PPS - Not out of the woods yet, Miss Gloria, but getting a bit closer...

5 comments:

Dean Grey said...

I'm buying you hand-sanitizer and bar soap for your birthday!

-Dean

Mind Of Mine said...

I know bar money ca....

Wait! You don't believe in sanitiser?

drew said...

money is one of the dirtiest things out there but we all need it!!

Anonymous said...

Glad to hear you are feeling better, dearest, but remember that the things you say in a moment of darkness to the people who care for you most are the things that those same people won't let you sweep back under the rug so easily... I know you would do the same for me.

LOVE YOU!!!

Anonymous said...

That's funny, I'm a bartender here in chicago and 1 of my co-workers was counting money after closing and he said "Dude! My mouth is numb from counting this cash."