So far my new career, ugh, I mean job is going pretty well, although it hasn't been without a few hiccups (who knew there was a right and a wrong way to slice limes?). Since the bar is also a restaurant we serve brunch on weekends. This means there are children present. Which means the owners have told us boys to watch our language (lots and Lots and LOTS of dick jokes).
To help us curb our creative and judicious use of the work "FUCK" we instituted a swear jar. Every time one of us drops an F-Bomb we place a quarter in said jar. It's actually effective. However, we cannot exactly police the words that exit the mouth of our inebriated patrons.
On Saturday a pair of stunning women entered the bar with a HUGE fucking suitcase. These lovely ladies explained to us that it was their 1 year anniversary of marriage (I think they got hitched in Canada) and they were on their way to the Park Hyatt for a romantic night of, um...whatever was in the huge suitcase (the mind shutters).
Anyways, they stopped in because one of the women needed to use the restroom, and since they were already there, they decided to have a round of beers. Fast forward to 3 hours later and they are fucking smashed. Not drooling drunk, but thoroughly buzzed. Which is when one of the owners, his wife and their young children showed up for dinner.
Keep in mind that the 2 parties were seated about 6 feet from one another. It's safe to say the owners children are now privy to the concept of vibrators, fisting and bondage. These ladies left it ALL on the table and then some. And the public display of affection! Holy shit, they were going at it like horny high school kids. It was sweet. I can't wait until I can get lit with my husband and sloppily make out in public.
PS - The presence of the lesbian couple prompted a conversation between one of the bartenders and myself about gay marriage, which prompted him to tell me about when his sister came out, which then lead me to come out to the bartender. His response: "I didn't know you are gay" to which I said "well, why would you?".
5 comments:
Justin, I think the bartender was telling you that you didn't ping his gaydar. You meet some of our gay brethren who do show their gayness more than others. I don't think he meant anything by his comment..
Oh, I don't think he meant anything by it at all. He's a super nice dude. I guess what I meant to say is that I never assume anything about other's sexuality.
Justin!
So now that some of your coworkers know you're gay, do you think the dick jokes will lessen or increase?
Hmmm.......
-Dean
I hate it when people misbehave in the presence of children...
I love lesbian love!!! I can't think of a better way to prompt coming out to someone than having a lil' ol debate about gay marriage! : ) What was his stance btw?
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