Monday, July 13, 2009


Allow me to apologize in advance for what are sure to be a few grammar/spelling errors. I'm fucking exhausted, but I'm not feeling sorry for myself; there is an envelope sitting on my desk containing $405 in small bills, which dulls the pain inflicted by the numerous kegs of beer I had to heft this weekend. Oh, and I popped my karaoke cheery. For real. Read on...

Friday night I worked my usual doorman/whore shift. It was pretty uneventful and 6 hours spent on my feet passed mercifully fast. The only time it lagged was after I emptied the bar when we closed, and bore witness to a massive BITCH FEST because the bartenders/bar backs felt people screwed them out of tips (which they did).

Saturday was a LONG day/night. The same people that own the bar I work at got the beer concession at a street festival, and they employ the same people to work the 2 beers tents there. I thought I didn't have to work until 6PM, but no, had to work at 4PM. Whatever, I'll take what I can get.

Having said that, I was not prepared to stand for hours in 90 degree heat checking ID's and issuing wrist bands. Man...sweaty drunk people criticizing how tightly I apply a wristband gets old quick! Also, pouring beer after beer after beer, while easy, gets sticky very fast. The only thing I could do was drink beer faster and rub ice cubes on my hands to rid myself of the nasty feeling of having beer soak into my pores. Don't even get me started on the Sangria that nearly ruined my shoes.

Still, it was pretty easy and fun, despite the occasional asshole(s). After that I was ready to go to bed, but the night was not ready for me to be done quite I had to attend my very first bachelorette party! It wasn't a traditional "girly" type affair, but their were cock shaped everything everywhere (which I guess is but one reason I was invited).

Since my good friend is getting married at the last moment (long story) and I had not been able to afford a proper wedding gift, and since we ended up at a bar with Karaoke...I offered to sing her a song. I have never done it before, and might never again, but I think I made Jim Morrison proud with my rendition of "Roadhouse Blues". Oh, and then I got our group all on stage together for a collective rapeing of "Bohemian Rhapsody". Fuckin' A!

The night was not yet done though; a few of us ended up at a gay country western bar. Yes, you read that right. Clearly we were drunk out of our minds. The place was nasty, although mildly festive (except for the poor fellow visiting from Florida who doesn't drink...he just looked confused/terrified, especially after watching his sister make out with some random dude).

Needless to say I was tired as FUCK on Sunday. Going to bed at 5AM and wakeing up at 10AM makes me tired and feel kinda old. Whatever. I pressed through it with a littlwe help fro my friends (a steak sandwich, several beers and a bowl of hydroponic always helps).

Sunday back at the tent was much more intense then the previous evening. Whereas before ther were 16-18 people casually serving people, this tent had 7-8 people serving at least twice as many people. The good thing was that the time simply vanished. We were so busy I didn't even take a smoke break or take a piss for 4 straight hours. By the end of the night my shoes were squishy with beer and my white T-Shirt covered in Sangria.

I can still smell PBR.

Despite is all...I am SO FUCKING HAPPY that I was allowed to get covered in beer and surrounded by assholes. For 12 hours work I got PAID son! I had so much cash on me last night I could barely fit it in my pockets. Mostly it was single dollar bills, but I still felt rich for a moment.

So when I woke this morning I felt sore, hungover and fatigued. However...a cute boy I met 2 weeks ago wants to hang out. His name? Justin.


M&M said...

And I thought I had a rough weekend, I believe I would have lost it being in the hot sun putting up with whiney queers bleh!

ex-roomie said...

You sung from the balls and channeled black leather pants, you stud!

Dean Grey said...

Congrats on the extra cash (put that money in the bank immediately!!).

Oh, and good luck with the other Justin....Justin.

-Dean *(~_^)

Meeting Neil is Easy said...

Married at the last moment? Man, that groom of hers must be some kind of asshole...! :)