Outside of my concerns about being too "plugged in" I realized I could never have a Twitter account due to the total inane and utter bullshit that I would share with the world. No offense to those that do "Twitter" (UGH - I fucking hate words that are used as verbs which are anything but) but does the world at large really need a minute by minute update on your day? I think not. And to prove my point I've decided to create a virtual Twitter feed for y'all:
JESUS CHRIST driving a Volvo, why are there so many fucking cooking shows on tv?
11:14AM Feb 15 from Web
I just dropped the A-S-S bomb to end all ass bombs. We're talking atomic strength!
1:26PM Feb 18 from Web
I just voted! Yay me! I'm a big boy now!
4:21PM Feb 21 from txt
I like to watch movies in the dark.
9:47 PM Feb 24 from Web
!WHOA - that Latin dude looks like he can really FUCK!
6:57PM Feb 26 from txt
This is such a stupid fucking use of technology.
8:34AM Feb 27 from Web
DmtmQp..1$@@ I DRUNK mumbl&&mumble NANCY REGAN justsayyes! ***
4:21AM Feb 27 from txt
"You call that coke? Psssssh, loser, go pass that shit off on some grade school kids."
2:35AM Feb 28 from txt
My nipples are hard for reasons unbeknownst to me. Down boys!
11:20AM Mar 1 from Web
Fuck this piece of corn stuck in my teeth. Fuck it to death.
2:34PM Mar 3 from txt
People from Wisconsin should not be allowed to operate motor vehicles.
4:14PM Mar 4 from txt
My dick is my best friend and closest confidant.
7:34AM Mar 5 from Web
Could that douche from Friends BE any more annoying?
6:57PM Mar 5 from Web
I really need to work on that "25 Reasons why Chicago Rawks wit it's CAWK out" post.
1:45PM Mar 8 from Web
So I guess what I'm saying is, is that I don't understand the reason for Twitter to exist, other than providing people with yet another outlet for useless, vapid communication. Then again, blogging isn't too different, is it?