Tuesday, March 24, 2009

GENIUS BAR MY ASS

Back when the iPhone first came out, circa Summer '07, I remember talking TALL shit about the stupid fucking things. Then...I got one for Christmas that same year, and promptly had a torred affair with this device.

And the thing is, I so don't deserve it. At least not in terms of what is it capable of that I am utilizing it for. Still, when I woke up this morning and discovered the crucial "home" button refused to do as told, I was worried, to say the least.

Rushing towards the nearest Apple Store (the one on Michigan Avenue) I tried my best to reassure my ailing electronic device that all would be well soon, and to just hang on man!

Once I passed a dozen carefully scruffy/tattooed 20-somethings wearing name tags that aped the design of the original iPod (whoa man...bringing it back to 2001! WOOT!), I climbed the translucent glass stairs towards the "Genius Bar" area. 

As an owner of a Dell PC, this all very strange to me. So was the fact that a concierge greeted me and asked me to sign in. Cool, this groovy hi-tech minimalist experience was still going solid. 

Then I was informed that my appointment would be at or around 4:10PM. It was 12:50PM at that point. On a Monday afternoon. F-U-C-K.

Since I had time to kill, I lamented the sad Spring collection for Men at H&M, fogged up the window of Gold Coast Lamborghini (they have my Lamborghini Gallardo LP560-4 sitting on the floor there!) and got horny looking at shoes at Nordstrom. And then I still had 2 hours left to wait. Double-FUCK.

Finally, it was my turn at the Genius Bar, and I got the guy I hoped I would. He was typically scruffy, with hair mussed just so, and DAMN, he was fine. Under his stupid "not all heros wear capes" mandated T-shirt, you could tell he was fit as fuck. 

And just when I got to the point in my imagination where we were breaking up...he struck first! After examining the USB port on my iPhone (with a fucking Otoscope no less) he sighed unconvincingly informed me that my loved one would be no more. The diagnosis was terminal; my iPhone has only days to live! GASP!

[TO BE CONTINUED] 

8 comments:

Devyn said...
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Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...
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Thomas said...

I'm sorry but:
Preemptive RIP.

Mike said...

That's painful.

Anonymous said...
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B said...
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JUSTIN said...

I got a refurb'ed 3G iPhone from AT&T for $99. Not bad!