Two of my mathematically superior friends (i.e. self confessed "nerds") sent me text messages today wishing me a "Happy Pi Day!".
Though well intentioned, somehow they must have forgotten that along with cinnamon and right-wing-conservatives, Math is another one of my arch-enemies.
Back in the 3rd grade I was introduced to the concept of multiplication. I understood what 1 x 2 meant, also, 2 x 2. But when I was challenged to answer what 2 x 3 equaled, I immediately started to cry. True story.
Therefore, the concept of a never ending number to this day makes my mind stop in it's tracks. Fuck you 3.14-etc, etc, etc. You too Darren Aronofsky!
Now, it has come to my attention that March 14 is also home to another, far better holiday...one that I have no trouble comprehending...
Though well intentioned, somehow they must have forgotten that along with cinnamon and right-wing-conservatives, Math is another one of my arch-enemies.
Back in the 3rd grade I was introduced to the concept of multiplication. I understood what 1 x 2 meant, also, 2 x 2. But when I was challenged to answer what 2 x 3 equaled, I immediately started to cry. True story.
Therefore, the concept of a never ending number to this day makes my mind stop in it's tracks. Fuck you 3.14-etc, etc, etc. You too Darren Aronofsky!
Now, it has come to my attention that March 14 is also home to another, far better holiday...one that I have no trouble comprehending...
I'm kinda pissed that I only ound this out with a few hours left in the day, but I will certainly make an effort to celebrate this fine holiday in 2009.In fact, I'll probably take the day off from work, eat a Porterhouse for lunch at Morton's, get a nice BJ, then have a filet mignon at Gene & Georgetti's for dinner, and perhaps engage in further oral sex for dessert.
It's the American way...
4 comments:
This is a riot. I love to hear about these random holidays. Always add something to celebrate.
As far as finding random holidays go.. that should win an award.
How do not more people know about this? You'd think there would be big signs for this in Wrigleyville.
Cinnamon is delicious....you're crazy
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