Friday, March 14, 2008

FUCK PI DAY...IT'S STEAK & BJ DAY!

Two of my mathematically superior friends (i.e. self confessed "nerds") sent me text messages today wishing me a "Happy Pi Day!".

Though well intentioned, somehow they must have forgotten that along with cinnamon and right-wing-conservatives, Math is another one of my arch-enemies.

Back in the 3rd grade I was introduced to the concept of multiplication. I understood what 1 x 2 meant, also, 2 x 2. But when I was challenged to answer what 2 x 3 equaled, I immediately started to cry. True story.

Therefore, the concept of a never ending number to this day makes my mind stop in it's tracks. Fuck you 3.14-etc, etc, etc. You too Darren Aronofsky!

Now, it has come to my attention that March 14 is also home to another, far better holiday...one that I have no trouble comprehending...

I'm kinda pissed that I only ound this out with a few hours left in the day, but I will certainly make an effort to celebrate this fine holiday in 2009.

In fact, I'll probably take the day off from work, eat a Porterhouse for lunch at Morton's, get a nice BJ, then have a filet mignon at Gene & Georgetti's for dinner, and perhaps engage in further oral sex for dessert.

It's the American way...

4 comments:

Michael Moniz said...

This is a riot. I love to hear about these random holidays. Always add something to celebrate.

Soul Seared Dreamer said...

As far as finding random holidays go.. that should win an award.

5 of 9er said...

How do not more people know about this? You'd think there would be big signs for this in Wrigleyville.

K said...

Cinnamon is delicious....you're crazy