RAW FUCKING POWER

Well...it's Monday and since my mind has decided to buck the usual "I Hate Life" Monday trend and I found myself in a good mood, giddy even. Not sure why but perhaps it has something to do with the relaxing and quiet weekend I just had in which the highlight was buying an old leather belt from a thrift store for $3 (such a score...to the ghost of the dead man that used to wear it, I'll treat it well, really, just don't cringe if and when a boy takes it off with his teeth).

Since any substantial thought eludes me at the moment, I figured I would knock out a list of objects that reside within my vehicular fantasy world. It never made sense to me why people that find themselves with a fuck-load of disposable income restrict themselves to tricking out a lame Cadillac Escalade or have the audacity to park a Ferrari next to a Lamborghini (btw, Lance Briggs is a moron). To me, that's weak and absent of creativity. You gotta think BIG.

With this in mind I present a list of vehicles that have but one thing in common: RAW FUCKING POWER!

BUGATTI VEYRON 16.4

If God ever decided to hang out with us mere mortals, this would be his whip. The stats alone are breathtaking: The W-16 cylinder engines pumps out a mind-blowing 987 HP and 922 lb-ft of torque, propelling the Bu' to 0-60MPH in 2.7 seconds, which just a hop, skip and jump to the 248.5 mph top speed. If ever a car was worth a million George Washington's, this would be it. In lieu of said $1,000,000 I would consider exchanging a testicle for the keys to one.

PUTZMEISTER 63Z-METER

Construction Equipment magazine included the 63Z Putz on it's list of 100 Top Product Awards in 2005, and it's little wonder why. This Concrete Boom Pump will pour concrete from a horizontal or vertical distance of 200 feet. How fucking hot is that? I'm not a homeowner, but if I was I would while away lazy Sunday afternoons laying concrete wherever I damn please from the comfort of my couch. That thing has a remote right? Hot!

DOUGLAS DC12-44-400

Many a time I have gazed upon an airport tarmac and watched the various machines ply their trade, but none so intently as the mighty Doug Tug. Capable of pushing or pulling 600 tons of tourist laden fuselage, the DC12-44-400 is nothing short of amazing. It's not as easy on the eyes as the Bu', but I still like what I see. That shit is Raw!

CATERPILLAR 994F WHEEL LOADER

The man-made equivalent of 1,463 horses makes re-think my marketing career. Perhaps I should really live in rural Wyoming and work at coal mine, just so that I can pilot this beast about the Great Plains. You could easily fit a Camry in that scoop. The next time I'm stuck in traffic on the Kennedy, I want to be sitting in a 994F!

O&K RH400

Need I really say more? Whether I'm in the mood to go out and party on the town or go strip mining in Canada, the '400 would ideally be my primary mode of transportation. Fuck a limo when you can pull up to the valet stand in a vehicle capable of picking up a limo! That has got to be the biggest shovel on the face of this earth. 4,400HP powers those enormous treads. HOT!

Thus concludes my seemingly random post of POWER. Here's to a good work week...Cheers!