Friday, June 1, 2007

ATTENTION SUBARU WRX OWNERS!!!


I am not now nor have I ever been interested in drag racing with any of you. Yes, at stop lights I will rev my engine and beat you out of the gate, (without chirping my tires, thank you very much) because I know your turbocharged flat-4 engines suffer from a slight case of turbo lag.

And if you haven't noticed I'll gladly allow you to pull ahead of me once I reach 40MPH because, frankly, I value my license more than any fleeting moment of gratification that result in beating you to the next red light.

And what is fuck is with the gold rims? Do they not remind you of a bald middle aged shirtless man wearing too many gold chains? No? Well here's a clue, they look like shit and do not go well with the super bright blue paint.

Unlike the majority of WRX drivers, I do not suffer from SPS (Small Penis Syndrome), which by the way is not curable, (although there is a "treatment", which is to find a boy/girl friend with exceptionally tiny hands), thus I do not seek to prove my virility by racing you on public streets, especially not during peak travel times.

2 comments:

Soul Seared Dreamer said...

You know Justin - I'm the same on the road.

But then I only passed in August last year and for the first 2 years any points means your licence is revoked here in the UK (and hell if I'm ever getting it revoked).... so I drive at the speed limit and it amazes me how many people get annoyed at that.

There I am doing 30MPH and those twats doing 60MPH - I once quite enjoyed watching someone who overtook me at around 50MPH in a 20MPH zone get stopped by a police motorcycle. It was thoroughly enjoyable.

Thnakfully I don't suffer from SPS either

Jake said...

Scion owners are supposed to be all tight and shit, but they want to race me all the time too. My tC's stock (well, with a surprise hidden between the driver seat and the console usually). I don't doubt that these other cars can beat mine in speed, but as far as driving skills go I would beat out most of them.

I usually go the speed limit, even though I have gotten out of a good few tickets once I get pulled over and they see my uniform. As long as somebody is going faster than you it;s a good bet they'll get stopped first.

What I love is when someone pulls up next to me when I'm at work and wants to race, or start revving their engine at the light. Please motherfucker! My car was built to chase yours!