Thursday, April 5, 2007

EXCITEMENT + RELIEF + SADNESS = ?

My excitement over what promises to be a weekend of reckless debauchery (not the sexual variant mind you, although I wouldn't mind some of that...) in DC has been tempered by yesterday's loss of my Grandma. I have all these conflicting emotions running through my head but the one that seems to be dominant of one of relief. For her, because she's no longer in pain, but also for my Grandpa who lost his bride of over 60 years, and my Mom too, who lost her Mom.

I suppose all one can hope for is to live a comfortable, happy and long life which she certainly did for 83 years. Most people I know lost one or both of their grandparents at young age, therefore they never grew close to their parent's parents, which I am lucky to have done.

Just last November I went on vacation to Mexico with my Mom and her parents. Although the prospect of spending a week on the Sea of Cortez at a fancy hotel for free was certainly appealing, my primary motivation for going was because I figured that the time I had left to spend time with them was short. Unfortunately that turned out to be a little to prophetic in the case of Grandma, but I'm glad I went and that the last memory I have of her is a happy one.

And I got to say goodbye to her for the last time a few weeks ago, and for that, I feel blessed.

Also, since this came as no surprise I've had a lot of time to deal with everything, so I feel pretty ok. Not happy, mind you, but generally I'm at peace with her passing.

Next week my bro, his GF and I will fly out to AZ for the funeral. This will be the first time in several years I've seen most of my extended family, (with the exception of my bro and I, everyone else has fled the Chicagoland area). I'm looking forward to seeing my aunts, uncles and cousins.

For now, I need to pack for my weekend getaway, then get drunk with my bro.

Fair warning DC, this Guy from Chicago is coming to town.

3 comments:

V.J. Civic said...

I am sorry about the passing of your beloved grandma, may she rest in peace and the rest of your family mourn her but at the same time celebrate the memories and pay tribute to her life. My thoughts and condolences go out to you and your family.

In a lighter note have fun in our nation's capital. I am sure you will.

I Think I'm Gay said...

Hey Man,

Sorry to hear about your grandma. It's tough loosing those that are close to us.

Have fun in DC with your friend & at the Panic concert.

-Tim

Will said...

Sorry to hear about your grandmother. Death can really be a kick in the nuts. A nice trip to DC sounds like exactly what you need. Have fun and be careful.