Friday, December 30, 2011


Phone sex has always seemed like a slightly humorous concept to me, although the few times I have engaged said activity, I have enjoyed it - not necessarily in a "sensual" way, more like in a playful way. I've always injected a modicum of sarcasm within my romantic endeavors.

Anyways, last night I got this and the following texts from T:

[I should note he is still out of town]

T: "Are you at work?"
ME: "Yeah, but not too busy, what's up?"
T: "Well, I am driving and will be home soon and wanted to have phone sex".
ME: "I just quit and will be home in 5 minutes :)"
T: "Haha, maybe we can just send each other dirty messages".

To further the context of this situation, we have never done anything like this before, and with my boss looming over me, not to mention my co-workers, it was difficult to even begin to think of anything remotely dirty nor sexy to text I went into default sarcasm mode.

ME: "I want to use your thighs as earmuffs...because it's really cold tonight".
T: "HAHAHA, shut up!"

From then on we actually started "sexting" as the kids call it, and my God, it was fucking hot! At first we both improvised fantasies that will probably never happen (not if I don't have my way) and then we brought it back back down to earth, describing the favorites things we have liked doing with each other, or rather, to each other.

And then he told me I made him cum. Mind you, at this point my boss and her boyfriend are on the other side of the bar, sipping beer, with the bartender next to me doing weird goofy crazy dance moves (fucking Improv actors - love 'em) and I'm trying to play it cool...but I have a massive B-O-N-E-R.

Thank God I wasn't wearing skinny jeans, and Thank God it was dark and Thank God again I was behind a bar wear no one could see anything below my waist. Besides the obvious bulge, I was leaking pre-cum like an off shore drilling rig operated by BP. I had to deftly excuse myself to smoke outside in the cold to calm down.



Anonymous said...

Lol freaking awesome! Love ur blog

PNW Dude said...

thighs as earmuffs! Love it!

ex-roomie said...

"leaking pre-cum like an off shore drilling rig operated by BP"


Chicago's Bi Guy said...

oh gawd... really.. I'm going to have to come into your bar doing better weather.. LOL