We've been staffing up at work lately, in particular with regards to the Bar Backs (my position), and I really need to tell you all a story about the hot and FUCKING retarded guy they hired purely out of nepotism.
First, I will describe him. He is about 6'4", one of his arms are bigger than both of mine combined and covered in tattoos. He has dimples. That's the good. Here's the bad: he wears suspenders, ticks in his t-shirts and wears his hair in a pompadour.
Anyways, we were sitting at the bar yesterday and he asked me the following questions, each one increasing my HOLY FUCKING SHIT YOU ARE STUPID quota.
Q: What does IPA stand for?
I understand beer nerds can be assholes, and I do not consider myself one, but if you get hired at what is considered to be one of the best craft beer bars in America, Jesus fucking CHRIST you should know what an IPA is.
Q: When does that Asian chick get here?
The "Asian Chick" in question is a bartender, who is his boss, and also happens to be my "female" boyfriend, in that, she is someone I care about, in addition to being a good friend. We give each other metaphysical boners, and I will KILL for her.
Q: How much money do you make?
This is an inappropriate question regardless of the context, but especially so in the service industry. Tips are our lifeblood, and a closely held secret, but either way...don't ask your co-workers how much they make. I mean, come ON!