Monday, March 21, 2011


Technically, I last saw a large body of water when I went to New York City...and Fire Island 2 summers ago. But the Atlantic, as grand as it is, has never really done it for me. It's always seemed flat and gray to me, even when I was a child visiting my Grandparents in Florida.

I've always looked west, towards the Pacific. It took me about an hour to remember the last time I dipped my toe in that ocean; I was in Cabo San Lucas, with my Mom. And now that I think about it more, I cannot believe how lucky I've been to have done so, not only in Mexico, but Hawaii and Alaska too. Vancouver? Check. Fucking LOVE that city and want to die there happy.

For the time being, I'm mostly happy being in Chicago...but when my mind wanders...thoughts of that impossibly vast ocean wake me up at 4AM; somewhere around here is a picture I took standing on an uninhabited beach north of Santa Cruz.

Why my unchecked wanderlust is rearing it's head is a direct result of my current predicament. I literally have not left the city of Chicago proper since September, and although the Mississippi River has it's charms, Galena hardly counts. No, that won't do.

Weird as it sounds, I want to feel that pull of undertow, I want to see stars and wonder accordingly. I want to stand on another melting glacier; I want to climb a mountain and sip a beer at the peak...again. Or be surrounded by whales while I kayak. I've done that shit. And smoking pot with gutter punks near Stanley Park? Please. And yes.

It's been too long that I've trapped myself in this wonderful, yet limited cage of urbanity. But for now my resources and responsibilities keep me from doing such things, and it fucking SUCKS. I can die happy never visiting Vegas ever again, or New York for that matter, but I won't rest in peace until I can feel that particular smell of salt that only the Pacific can produce.

That right there is my ideal version of a perfect beach; I took that picture about 8 years ago and I bet it looks the same way right now. North coast of Douglas Island. I guess this post exists to remind me of how lucky I have been to seen such places. I want to go back to how things were, a common thought that comes with age. Powerful nonetheless.

For now, I shall dream.


Mind Of Mine said...

The ocean just has this power to make you feel so insignificant yet powerful at the same time.

Patrick said...

Vancouver is one of the greatest cities in the world. Visited it in college and can't wait to go back. Now I seed you have DBT on your blog...we should be an item.

Dean Grey said...

Looks and sounds lovely!

Never having really travelled in my life, I hope to one day get to see the world!


JUSTIN said...

@Patrick: DBT is my favorite band :)

Patrick said...

Mine too brother. Their latest album is really growing on me. Hopefully you saw them in Chicago last month. I'll be seeing them in Jersey with Alejandro Escovedo, can't wait!

Anonymous said...

You can always do San Fran on the cheap by staying with me and Bill. I admit that despite its many charms, Denver is decidedly landlocked. But the place in the Bay is less than two miles from the whoooole ocean. Seriously, whenever you want. xoxo