Wednesday, March 2, 2011

GROWING PAINS

Whoa, what's this? A post? I know, even I am shocked. There is a good reason I have neglected to write anything for the last few weeks - mainly the crippling depression that has resulted from all this fucking bullshit I am going through as a result of that ill-fated decision back in December to get behind the wheel of a car when I clearly should not have.

It's been about 2 weeks since I went to court, which is almost enough time to wrap my head around how difficult the next 2 years of my life is going to be. See, the prosecutor decided to throw the full weight of punishment against me (short of jail that is - and I seem to narrowly avoided that).

In addition to the fines, 75 hours of "alcohol classes" I have to take and the 200 hours of community service I have to perform - I am now on court ordered supervision for 24 months. Seems a bot harsh for a first time offender without no prior record (not even a speeding ticket).

What does that mean? Well, for one thing I cannot consume any intoxicating substances, not even a fucking beer! Random piss tests are part of this deal too, and get this: I can't even leave the state without permission. Oh, and if I get into any trouble I am facing a WORLD OF SHIT, i.e. possible incarceration.

So I am broke (or will soon be) and struggling to remain sober and maintain some semblance of a relationship with my brother and my sister in law who are understandably furious at me. Although I have the support of great friends, it's hard getting through this without my family around. I am most unhappy about this.

It's not all crap. I do feel a positive difference physically (not drinking will do that), I'm getting back into a gym routine and the weather is finally turning towards Spring, a season that is arguably more important to those that live in Chicago than most other locales. And I got laid on Valentine's Day, so there's that.

I got a long, hard road to go. That being said, when this is all said and done, I do think I'll have changed for the better. Thanks for reading.

12 comments:

Rick said...

I've never commented before, but I read your blog religiously and it just might be my favorite on the web. Sucks to hear what you're going through, but keep your head up man. Who knows what you could gain from this and also learn about yourself in the process? Approach it as a chance to explore more of life and it won't seem too shitty.

Good luck, Justin. And keep posting!

-- Rick (kineticrick@gmail.com)

Jack's insufferable bout of optimism and cleavage said...

we should take our awesome cameras and go photograph Lincoln Park Zoo on Easter Day again like we did two years ago when it was nicer out than April usually allows for. Also - I've got legs! D'ya like bread? I have a french loaf!

Dean Grey said...

Justin!

It's how we handle the things that are thrown at us that shows our true character.

You just have to decide how you will react and deal with everything that's coming down on you right now.

And I guess I'm the only Chicagoan that's dreading/fearing the coming spring and summer.

I'm actually counting the months until Fall and Winter return!

-Dean

Mike said...

I agree with Rick! I am a faithful reader that has been following you. I went to Cicago for christmas because of you and loved it...
Mike
The anti spam feature has the word "wories"!

The New Me said...

hang in there Justin. What doesn't kill you...

The Honourable Husband said...

Alcohol is a vexing mistress. Some time apart might do you good.

Stay strong.

Anonymous said...

Saw a card today that said "when you are going through hell, keep going" Not much else you can do - i have been a long time reader who admires your growth and your honesty in admitting your weaknesses.

Anonymous said...

you got laid!!!

ZANE said...

My Hubby had 4 DUIs and his last one he hit another car - thankfully no one was seriously hurt. He spent some time in jail, but it was the best thing for him. He sobered up and got his shit together.

We would not be together to this day had he not been forced to get sober. That was back in 1998 and does not drive to this day as a choice.

I consider us lucky. And everyone on the road is lucky that he got his drunk ass sober.

Your journey will be a test, but no one was hurt in your accident and you get to learn from your mistake. Many people are not that lucky. I have no doubt you will grow and be a better man because of it!! Best of Luck!!!

BosGuy said...

Bad things happen to good people sometimes. I hope that this venue allows you to exorcise whatever has you down. This is your piece of the internet and the people who read your blog are here by choice to see what you've been up to and understand what you are going through.

Sounds like you've got quite a few challenges ahead of you, but I'll be reading and cheering for you.

BosGuy

Mind Of Mine said...

Justin!

Shit, I am sorry to hear that things kind of suck at the minute. It wasn't wise to get behind the car drunk, but its done now and you can't go back so try not to beat yourself up to much about it.

The punishment does seem a little harsh, I think you were made to be an example by the judge.

Now for the silver lining...

Maybe the no alcohol thing will actually be a good thing. Going the gym and stuff and cutting the obvious calorie intake from alcohol, means in no time, you will probably look even more studly than you already are.

Just fill up that 'half-empty glass' and keep on trucking.

Anonymous said...

They test your for alcohol? damn that is strict considering it is a LEGAL substance.