Saturday, January 1, 2011


Happy New Years from Chicago. I'm not a big fan of New Years Eve, nor other "big" holidays; this past Christmas was the first one I experienced without a single member of my family, extended or otherwise. I wasn't really in a mood to celebrate because...

I FUCKED UP BIG TIME. Let me preface this by saying I am NOT looking for sympathy or anything; the only reason for this post is to get the ghosts of my mistakes out, kinda like therapy. But here goes: I fucking hit a parked car going 40MPH, drunk (naturally).

Besides tarnishing my stellar driving record, I destroyed my brother's VW GTI. And I spent the night in jail. And was taken to the hospital sporting leg irons and hands (which were bleeding) cuffed behind my back. Word to you, dear reader: don't ever drink and drive, but if you do, and destroy a 2 cars in spectacular fashion, don't do it in Chicago. [For the record, I passed the "ABC" test with flying colors].

I won't post the number I blew, but it was shockingly high, like "you should have alcohol poisoning" according to not one but three officers. Either the machine is broken, or I'm fucking immortal, because I didn't even feel hungover the next day (although I was still in shock). I'm still trying to get the blood out of the jeans I was wearing, but otherwise I'm remarkably intact.

I've said this many, many times, but I want to reiterate it: THANK FUCKING GOD NO ONE ELSE WAS HURT. I feel stupid/embarrassed/humiliated/ashamed. But I can deal with that. If I had injured someone else physically, I don't think I could deal. Oh, and I was told if I hadn't been wearing my seatbelt/had the benefit of an airbag, I would would have sailed through the windshield. Having 2 bruised lungs is nothing in comparison.

I'm a tough MOTHER FUCKER, and I'll get through this, and I consider myself lucky...but this is going to wipe me financially. Par for the course I suppose. It's going to be a long road to restore the trust I destroyed, and pick up the pieces, etc. It's not going to be easy, in fact it's going to be fucking awful. I can only plead patience.

Happy 2011?


Anonymous said...


I'm glad your are not hurt, and no one else was injured.

Get a lawyer and pursue the machine must be broken angle. We are all here for a reason...your reason for being here has not been fulfilled.

Yes you are a tough mofo. By definition 2011 must be better than 2010.

Post a link for donations. I'm an unemployed person but would still donate to your defense. It will be expensive. Hire the best legal help you can.

Happy new year and I'm grateful you're still here!!!


The New Me said...

what doesn't kill us...

jason said...

Thank goodness you and everyone else (well, except for that car) are all right.

Here's to hoping the rest of your 2011 is better than the first part! :)

Joshua said...

Two years ago my brother was in a car accident - a guy and his wife in an SUV ran a stop sign and my brother hit him with his F150. The guy died, the accident was his fault and my brother blew a .08.

Luckily, the cops did not cite my brother that night, they waited a month, knowing he was not at fault. Regardless, my brother still experienced extreme guilt and shame. Tons of community service, probation and court ordered counseling later, he is doing much better.

It takes a lot of work but you'll pull through. Ask for help, you'll need it.

The witch knows said...

i commend you for your cander of brutal honety. yes you Fucked up Lol we all have
yes you were lucky no one else was involved.
I really believe things happen for a reason and karma is a funny girl.
Just think what you life was honestly like and the direction you were headed. Maybe you needed this to align your direction. The best lessons learned in life are always the most painful , scariest or unfair feeling. Keep you chin up head held high cause you learned something from all of this and you will be a stronger individual in the future. take care. tam ;)

Dean Grey said...


I think 2011 will be the year of growth and transition for you....if you let it.

I'm glad you blogged about this incident. Your previous blogposts always seem to highlight getting drunk or high and finally we have a post showing the negative ramifications of those actions.

Life is NOT about always having fun! Looks like you're learning this the hard way.

Continue to make changes in your life for the better and I know you will be fine in the end.

Happy 2011? Yes, it just might be yet!


JUSTIN said...

Thank you for all the positive thoughts; I'll get through this, might be poor as piss but whatever. I'M ALIVE!

that chick that drove you to des plaines said...

Not saying anything I haven't already said before but...I love you, and I'm in your corner.

Anonymous said...

Hey hang in there. What is important no one was hurt. Glad your doing OK.

Mike said...

Glad to hear you are alright! Thanks for having the courage to post this!

Patrick Heringslack said...

Knowing your a DBT fan I recommend you listen to A World of Hurt. Patterson Hood said it much better than I ever will. Embrace the things/people you enjoy and try to get pass this.