Sunday, November 7, 2010

DAYLIGHT SAVINGS IS FUCKING STUPID

WARNING! THIS BLOG POST IS BORING AND ONLY SERVES TO HELP KEEP ME AWAKE UNTIL THE MAGICAL HOUR KNOWN LOCALLY AS "DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME", A TWICE YEARLY EVENT RESULTING FROM A PAGAN TRADITION TO ROB THE SOULS OF BABIES. AND PUPPIES. KITTENS TOO. AND TO GENERALLY FUCK WITH OTHERWISE FINE PEOPLE.

Years ago, a farmer was tilling his land in central Indiana. The year was...a long time ago and at the end of particularly difficult harvest, said farmer gazed upon the flat horizon and thought to himself "the fuck is up with the sun, it's like, getting late early in the afternoon and shit" and thus was born Daylight Savings Time (Ed. Note: It was actually created by a guy from New Zealand. That FUCK.)

God, this shit fucks me up. You'd think that as a 31 year old, educated individual, I could wrap my head around the concept of "falling back" and/or "falling forward". And I generally do. But truth be told, I get fucking confused what happens when, and possibly where (if applicable-Jesus Christ, imagine if I was on a jet, crossing the International Date Line. I'm certain my head would implode).

Know what really keeps me up at night? Why do some states say "fuck it" and not recognize this shit? Does everyone in Arizona know someone that I don't? Are Puerto Ricans mocking me behind my back? This inquiring mind demands to know, but refuses to do more than a modicum of research.

All I really want to know is when I need to get to work in the morning. Life is complicated enough without having to worry about what the fuck time it is. 'Know what I mean? Shit, it's only 1:26am. Or is it 2:26am? Or 12:27am? Argh!

3 comments:

Meeting Neil is Easy said...

Justin, as an honorary member and representative for the half-Filipino community, I'm hear to tell you that everyone is mocking you behind your back.

Don't look back.

Sam. I. Am. said...

Yeah, the irish have a bit of a saying for this

"is Justin ThĂș."

Meaning, you are such a Justin! We say it when people fucj up, usually.

Anonymous said...

Just so you know, Indiana didn't recognize DST until about 6 or 7 years ago. So, I can say that yes, we were mocking you.