Anyone who has ever worked at a bar can relate to having to deal with drunk people. Our resident raging alcoholic is named Stacy. She lives just across the street so she's present on a daily basis. We keep an eye on her because although she seems fine when she comes in, she goes from zero to FUCKING HAMMERED in space of an hour.
Last night she seemed cool, was hanging with her friend eating pizza and sucking down Ciroc and soda. Out of no where I hear a BOOM! noise and look over...and Stacy had managed to face plant herself backwards, ass over end when she fell off her bar stool. About this time everyone in the bar decided it was time for her to go home (this was after her 2nd drink).
The bartender I work with, tiny cute girl says she's going to help her friend take Stacy home, but I wasn't about hear that noise, so I volunteered. Stacy's friend and I are trying to carry this lump of drunkenness down the street without her falling over (which she did, twice). I really didn't mind...until she started kissing me.
I mean really? Did she really think we were gonna hook up or something? Worse thing was, I couldn't really stop her because I'm trying to carry her, so I guess she sensed her opportunity and began kissing and licking my neck. Oh and even better, her curious hands wondered amongst Justin Jr. Land. I was not amused.
But we got her home, and I think I said something like "have fun with that" and sprinted back to the bar where I took a whore's bath in the bathroom sink, then without word, poured myself as double shot of Jameson. But the rest of the night went well. I got to play lots of dirty hip hop, hit on cute guys and do more shots with the restaurant crew from the next door.
Oh the charmed life I lead.