In the ad I posted on-line seeking to find a roommate, I mentioned that as being a young-ish white gay guy, I would prefer a similar type of person to live with; besides the obvious comfort level, I thought that living with another homo, that maybe, just MAYBE I could learn to be a better Gay. Like, maybe my Maybe Gay Roomie would school me on hair tips, and I could introduce him to the wonderfulness that is Even Williams whiskey. Or something like that.
So I was excited when this guy contacted me and wanted to see the place; from the tone of his voice left on my voice mail it was fairly obvious we played for the same team. And he seemed nice and cool, etc. We set a time and a date for him to come over and take a look at my place, and see if we clicked in person. When the time came, he called me, from outside in front of my front door and I buzzed him up. When I opened My Door, in walked...
OK, obviously not Bruno, but what could easily pass for a facsimile, or a stunt double, or maybe his younger brother. We're talking HARD-CORE Eastern European G-A-Y with hair highlights that would out put Lady Gaga to shame. And his outfit...bitch please. He looked like he was roaring to to go clubbing at fucking Jackhammer, and this was at 1PM on a Wednesday. No way in hell would I/could I have this be my new Roomie.
Thankfully, after looking at the place and talking to me for approximately 45 seconds, he ran out of my place like it was on fucking fire. So I guess the feeling was/is mutual. And before you hate on me for not wanting to live with such a F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S man, that wasn't the primary issue. I have a problem interacting with people that communicate as if they under the influence of Meth, Coke, Crack or some combination. I can't deal with the constant, yet distant look of surprise in said people's eyes (also, I imagined rivers of hair dye staining the fixtures in my bathroom-YUCK).
That being said, I believe I have solved my Roomie Issues. Let's call her "Mags"; she is 31 y/o, a teacher and an ex-pat from from Poland who had resided in Chicago for the last 7 or 8 years (little known fact to non-Chicagoans: Chicago is the 2nd largest Polish city by population after Warsaw). It took me a week to wrap my head around the idea, but I feel solid about it now, and I'm confident she won't fuck me over or freak out when I eventually bring a guy home. Fingers crossed!