SLIDE-SHOW TIME!

Although I feel compelled to post something today, I don't feel particularly clever. Perhaps it's because I'm freaking exhausted from work late, late last night, and also finding out the bar I'm working is closing, but then also being offered a part-time manager position at the new bar, or freaking out about the FUCKED up picture I got texted from Pablo last night, in which he posed the question "like my new shoes?" and said picture was of his hard cock residing within a 3" lace strewn heel shoe thing, OMG fucking UGH.

Whew. So yeah, I figured a fun post with pictures is in order, especially since reader Alex requested it.

Seriously, OK - Wilco puts on a GREAT show. Really, they are all accomplished musicians and ROCK the FUCK out live. But if you ever chance to see them, 2 weeks after you've broken you're collarbone, DO NOT GO! Holy Shit, these middle aged women go fucking nuts. I almost left early because so many of these drunk suburban ladies kept banging into to me, which is why/how I ended up at this particular vantage point (far, far away of the angry swarm of horny ladies - I had no idea Jeff Tweedy has this effect on people).

THIS, my friends, is an actual totally vintage 1955 Porsche 550 Spyder, the very same, and extremely rare model that ended none other than James Dean's life. This particular example spent 3 hours outside of the bar I work at, with me hovering over/breathing on it. I'll be blunt: this car gives me a boner - and I'm more than willing to part with a testicle to obtain it.

This here is my buddy's dog Blackjack. And yes, he's wearing underwear, specifically MINE. Why might a dog be wearing a pair of my boxer briefs? Glad you asked! This was from an afternoon when I took my laundry over to said buddy's house (Ex-Roomie was an accomplish, and somehow, probably after smoking too much pot) we decided the dog needed to "cover up" his junk. Needless to say, this particular garment was promptly disposed of 5 minutes after this picture was taken.

WHOA dude? Smoke much? My other good buddy decided to create the longest cigarette the world has ever seen, by combining a rolled Bali Shag along with a fucking Camel Light. I'm still not sure why, or why and how he smoked the entire thing. It seriously took about 15 minutes to get through, which should be more nicotine than anything living thing should ever consume in one sitting.

You might have to squint to see it, but the name of the random corner store is called "Santa Fe Sup", which I somehow interpreted as "Santa Face-Up", which lead to 10 minutes of lame and very immature sexual jokes. It's my go-to-thing when I'm stuck in traffic. Being slightly idiotic, that is.

GRAVEYARD! I recently spent a lovely fall afternoon (dare I say, it was CRISP!") in Rosehill cemetery. Peaceful? You bet! Kinda way too quiet and fearing a random Zombie attack? Bah-leave-dat! Seriously though, this is one of my favorite places in Chicago, and one in particular that I feel at peace at.

What the WHAT? Walking down Montrose avenue one afternoon, I peeped this in a store front window of a dollar store. I regret having NOT bought it. Props to the submissive ring bearing pigeon - I should have bought that shit too.

Sometimes when I'm leaving work at night, the CTA demands that I do the equivalent of bending over and grabbing my ankles, or more commonly known as having to wait 30+ fucking minutes for the train to show up. To pass the time, I take pictures, which probably places me on some sort of a terrorist watch list. Whatever.

More train pictures! I can't get enough of them. And it's like the easiest thing ever to photograph, especially when you have the Toy Camera app on an iPhone. Instant nostalgia! I swear, just looking at that picture, I'm tele-ported back to some sort of imaginary childhood that resembles a Norman Rockwell painting.

Yeah, I know, another fucking train/lame photo effect picture. Sometimes I just can't help myself. The colors are just so cool though! It's funny though, that had this picture been taken with an Kodak 35mm in the 1950's, the saturated color's, to say nothing of the actual physical environment would not be different. At least not much.