Work tonight was pretty good; I was firing on all cylinders, which perhaps is the result of feeling like utter shit earlier this week. My mood could have been described accurately as jovial even, or overtly social, but certainly not my usual stoic "Doorman" persona. Not at all.
But that mood went straight to shit when I had to wait 25+ minutes for a fucking CTA train to rear it's ugly head, followed by a 15-ish minute wait for the corresponding bus. But this is trivial, and not what's really bothering me.
If...I had one wish, it would be that someone I love is waiting for me to come home. Someone thinking, "fuck, I hope he didn't get robbed/shot/stabbed, where the hell is he?" Alas, there is no such person in my life. And that eats at me in such a way I cannot put it into words.
And on the other hand, there really isn't anyone in MY life I can put forth such feelings toward. Wouldn't that be nice if I could positively project these feelings in a positive manner upon another man? Can you tell I'm really fucking stoned?
Maybe I just need to adopt a cat.