Tuesday, October 27, 2009


For whatever reason it's taken me nearly this fucking long to realize what my purpose for existing on this earth is: to write. I realized this, at 5AM when I couldn't sleep and my inner monologue was keeping me awake.

This isn't to say I am a good one (not fishing for compliments!) but it is an acknowledgement of my natural state of being; I haven't expressed this to more than 1 or 2 close friends, but I constantly play out scenarios and/or situations within my mind. Like all the fucking time.

This keeps me up at odd hours, and I can only imagine what my current Roomie thinks of me. He keeps odd hours too, but that's because he's a respectably employed student of medicine (that amount of studying simply blows my mind).

The other night, on Saturday, while working my Doorman/Bouncer/Lifeguard/Babysitter of drunks gig, one of the "regulars" came in. This guy is trendy in appearance, gregarious by nature and seems to support himself by pirating porno DVD's (he graciously offered me a copy of "Stuffin' Muffins 3" but I declined. Again.) Anyways, he referred to me as "Quiet Guy", in a most jovial manner.

It's not that I'm trying to came across as a dick. I'm just an observant person. Sometimes I wonder about the dichotomy between what people who read this blog, and my natural persona.

And now that I typed that I feel like an egotistical ass-hat.

But still. With my close friends, I am very loud and dare I say, vivacious, but with people I am not close with, I am positively stoic. As with every rule, there are exceptions; casual acquaintances sometimes lull me out of my quietude, and compel me to be witty.

Where was I going with this? Right! What literally gets me out of bed is a deep seated need to put words on a page, although I must note that I worry to excess about excessive use of the word "I" to the point that constantly forget to capitalize it (no shit, I just had to go back and fix that, haha).

Sometimes the need to write conflicts with my natural tenancy not to draw attention to myself, but I just can't help myself, and I admire those of you that put up with my random musings, as I don't consider them to be unique or particularity insightful (or grammatically correct). And this isn't modestly, just an observation.


The New Me said...

"Sometimes the need to write conflicts with my natural tenancy not to draw attention to myself..."

Yeah, but all that stuff in your head has to find a way out, and apparently writing is it. Go for it I say. You'll never know if it's your answer until you try. I have a friend in Chicago who has made a living as a freelance writer for a long time now. And grammar comes with practice, so fuck that excuse. Besides what the hell would an editor do if they couldn't correct your spelling? It's how they earn their keep.

And I disagree, I think you're writings are often extremely insightful.

Cockbag LLC said...

Ah we are both introverts by nature and let out the crazy side only around people we trust. As public is our blogs are we feel free to share many, many secrets we would never tell our family's because this venue still gives us a sense of anonymity.

James Dean said...

Congratulations on finding your purpose. This blog is an amazing start. What kind of writing do you think you want to pursue?

Aaron said...

Oh Justin, please be a writer! I think from my previous comment, you already know that I think you're an awesome writer - or you will be one!

Dean Grey said...


Is writing your calling? Maybe!

Is writing your only calling? Probably not.

You can pursue several interests at once, you know.

For the record, your writing it quite witty and fun to read. No one can use the word "fuck" quite like you can! This is exactly why you need to keep your blog going as a way to write down your thoughts/ideas.

Perhaps your love of film and need to write could lead to a career writing screenplays?

Just don't narrow yourself into a corner. A person's true calling takes on many forms and goes down various roads before it takes its final shape.

I look forward to seeing the end result!


JUSTIN said...

@The New Me: You're right, editors do read to earn a living too.

@Cockbag: I envision we'll end up in the same assisted living facility someday. I don't why though.

@James Dean: Writing trashy romance novels!

@Aaron: You sure you're praise isn't the result of too much Fosters? Kidding. I thank you dearly.

@Dean: No, not my only calling. I give GREAT head too :)

Dean Grey said...

@Dean: No, not my only calling. I give GREAT head too :)

I know, that's what all the bois on the street are saying about you! Haha

-Dean (^_^)

jason said...

Well, I knew that already. That's why I come here.

Go for it!

JP Mac said...

@Justin you should write some hawt trashy romance novels set in Chicago. I have some story lines for you! xoxo

JUSTIN said...

@JP: I could write about going to NYC, having another blogger hook-up with a hot Polish guy I passed on, only to stroke my cock in the backseat of a cab (the Polish guy), and then end up at a Marriot with another blogger named "JB", who puked in my bathroom and promptly passed out!