AWKWARD FIST BUMPS

When I worked the door at the bar last weekend, I elected not to wear my arm sling. This accomplished two goals:

#1: Since it was so fucking cold, I could wear a proper jacket and take it off and on without looking like a 1st grader on his first day of school

#2: It would make random drunk people not ask "heeeeeeeey, wud happend to [burp] yuuuuuur arrmmmm?'

The lack of said sling mostly accomplished both goals. However, what it did not do, was to not make drunk, aggressive [albeit, mostly cool] guys issue me "manly" handshakes, hi-5's, fist bumps or a combination of 2, or 3 of the above. This is an unstated requirement of my job.

So...for this weekend of work, I decided to rawk the arm sling once again, cold weather, jacket/coat on/off procedures be damned! [Ed Note: I actually fear I fucked my shit up again by not wearing it as often as I should as of late]

Anyways, so tonight was supposed to be a slow night, but NO! Totally fucking busy. But here's where this is all headed: tonight one of Chicago's most awesome hip-hop stars that I admire the shit out of walked in. I spent many a days BUMPIN' his hits out of my dearly departed car.

And when he walked in and caught me off guard, he causally introduced himself to me, and I forgot about not using my gimpy right arm/hand to shake his hand, and proceeded to do so, and gave what must have been the weakest, most pussy-like handshake EVAH!

I tried compensating with a full hearted left handed fist bump to recover...but it didn't seem to fly. Sigh X 100,000!

PS - To the guy that bought HIMSELF 3 bottles of Cliquot Champagne...you made me feel way better about my own substance abuse issues.