Sunday, October 18, 2009

AWKWARD FIST BUMPS

When I worked the door at the bar last weekend, I elected not to wear my arm sling. This accomplished two goals:

#1: Since it was so fucking cold, I could wear a proper jacket and take it off and on without looking like a 1st grader on his first day of school

#2: It would make random drunk people not ask "heeeeeeeey, wud happend to [burp] yuuuuuur arrmmmm?'

The lack of said sling mostly accomplished both goals. However, what it did not do, was to not make drunk, aggressive [albeit, mostly cool] guys issue me "manly" handshakes, hi-5's, fist bumps or a combination of 2, or 3 of the above. This is an unstated requirement of my job.

So...for this weekend of work, I decided to rawk the arm sling once again, cold weather, jacket/coat on/off procedures be damned! [Ed Note: I actually fear I fucked my shit up again by not wearing it as often as I should as of late]

Anyways, so tonight was supposed to be a slow night, but NO! Totally fucking busy. But here's where this is all headed: tonight one of Chicago's most awesome hip-hop stars that I admire the shit out of walked in. I spent many a days BUMPIN' his hits out of my dearly departed car.

And when he walked in and caught me off guard, he causally introduced himself to me, and I forgot about not using my gimpy right arm/hand to shake his hand, and proceeded to do so, and gave what must have been the weakest, most pussy-like handshake EVAH!

I tried compensating with a full hearted left handed fist bump to recover...but it didn't seem to fly. Sigh X 100,000!

PS - To the guy that bought HIMSELF 3 bottles of Cliquot Champagne...you made me feel way better about my own substance abuse issues.

3 comments:

Dean Grey said...

Oh that sounds very cool, Justin!

A nice little perk for working at that bar.

Don't worry about the handshake thing. I'm sure he's encountered many flakes during his career. He'll think nothing of it, I'm sure. Kidding!

I wonder who HE is.....

-Dean

wyatt earp said...

Yeh, do tell J. Who is this masked man you gave the limp fish to?

I'm back btw, blogging once again, and you sir need to start reading. I'll try to pop out some better shit soon.

Cheers.

-r

wyatt earp said...

ok, I just left a comment but it disappeared. Sheesh.

Ahem.

I feel like such a fake now. Here goes --

Yeh, J, who is this masked man you gave the limp fish to?

And I'm back, blogging again, same as it ever was, yada yada yada, and you need to check it out.

-r