Sunday, August 2, 2009


A few posts ago I mentioned I had met a guy, named "Justin", whom I thought was a great guy. Totally cute, funny, seemingly normal, etc. When I met a guy I think has potential it gives me hope that there actually might be someone out there, which then manifests itself in a high that lasts for some time. You know that nervous anticipation of wondering what could come next? I love that shit. Call me a hopeless romantic if you will...but I never intend a random hook-up to be just that.

Well, that awesome high was completely obviated by a seemingly innocuous text sent to me by mistake, by the guy I had held some hope for (see above). About an hour after i had invited the other Justin out for drinks on Tuesday night, he responded, and I quote: "one day some guy sucked my dick 3 hours before I fucked you".

Since he didn't fuck me, I was confused, not to mention crushed, but I sought clarification. His response was that the message in question was meant to be sent to someone else, and later added "it was a joke". Awesome. And I mean to use that adjective with extreme sarcasm. At this point, I won't be seeking his company anytime soon. And good luck to him if our paths ever cross again, because if so, he can expect a swift kick in the dick.

Moving on to this weekend's festivities, namely "Market Days", which I hereby propose be re-named "Un-Pride" since it's only purpose is to provide a venue for people to get fall down drunk and hook-up. Which is fine and all...but they need to add a Mardi Gras theme? Seems it a bit much...

After the recent experience with SLUT-BAG/SHIT-HEAD, I resolved to literally keep it in my pants last night. Not that I'm against hooking up and having some hot boy-on-boy action, but I wasn't then, nor am I still in the mood for that shit. I went down to Boystown with ex-roomie in tow, a belly full of whiskey and a mission to just take it easy and enjoys the "sights" (and also to see my favorite NYC blogger who happened to be visiting).

All was well in good, with the exception of the line wrapped around the block to get into the bar we were at. After 2 hours and several beers later, I needed a cigarette. However, the bouncers wouldn't let you leave and come back in; I'd have had to leave and stand in the insane line to re-enter (DICKS).

So I opted to just chill in the little spot my friends and i carved out for ourselves. Then they all went to take a piss en mass. I guess that was the cue for this dude to "make his move". At first i assumed someone was just trying to get past me, but when I turned around, he planted his mouth directly on mine, while also grabbing my junk. Classy.

I asked him to back off, and at least introduce himself first (see! I'm a gentleman!). He was cute, in a I-JUST-TURNED-21 kind of way, but like I said before, I was not looking to hook-up, and asked him again not to grab my junk, which he took as his cue to try to put his hands down my pants. Rather than break his wrist, I opted to leave the bar and have my much desired nicotine fix.

He followed me outside. UGH. It seemed like perfect timing when I spotted a friend of mine on the street outside, chilling on his bike. I was barely able to get in a "hello" before...said 'friend' and horny twink dude started making out in front of me. DOUBLE UGH. I walked away, and when I looked back, friend was riding off, and the twink had vanished into the ether.

These big Mo-Fests just aren't for me, I've decided. Too many people, too many expectations and frankly, I just don't feel like I fit in. Last right, while walking down the litter strewn stretch of Halsted between Belmont and Addison, I felt like an outcast, and also that the larger gay community in Chicago doesn't value uniqueness; I mean, (and to quote ex-roomie) "a gym teacher couldn't get this many people to dress this much alike".

Perhaps I simply have my head wedged up my ass (it's happened before)...I dunno. But I do I feel rudderless, and, to be annoyingly "poetic", adrift in a vast sea without a harbor upon the horizon. *BURP*. I need another beer.


Windy City Sex blog said...

I understand your thought process on Market Days. I'm a much better one on one guy than leering through the crowd and putting on an act. I just take it for what it is and hang out. Props for the use of "rudderless" in context.

jason said...

Ah...I'm plummeting from a high like that myself currently. Sucks, I know.
And a "mardi gras theme" is rarely a good idea, I think....ever.

Dean Grey said...

Sorry, Justin, this comment will be a bit harsh.....

First off, what did you expect from the other "Justin". He's clearly an occasional ho like so many in our community.

Ask yourself, where did you meet him? How many guys hanging out in bars and clubs are looking to be a in serious relationship? Really!

Onto Market Days......

This is exactly why I choose NOT to be a part of Pride or events like this. Again, just another spot for man-whores to congregate to either get wasted, laid, and/or high.

That's just not my thing.

I have so little in common with the stereotypical gay community that I keep away from it as often as possible.

I don't: drink, do drugs, hook-up with random men I just met, or go to gay bars/clubs. How many men in our community can say that? Hardly any I'm sure.

So I came to the conclusion long ago that I will just be a loner.....and alone because I just don't fit in.

It's certainly not the easiest way to exist but it will have to do....for now.


Anonymous said...

Sorry you are down in the dumps. I wish things had worked out differently. Just hang in there.

GFunkDave said...

Hey Justin - I know exactly how you feel. That's why my boyfriend and I didn't go. :)

Always happy to make new like-minded friends.

VpO said...

that sucks dude! Hang in there, you'll get your groove back.

a_heyst said...

Don't give up on your romantic ideals. Romance may truely be dead, or just dead to the majority of cute gay men, but the promise of it sometimes is all you need to keep the hope and keep going.

As far as your assessment of the Un-Pride, aren't all gay events purpose to provide an avenue for a drunken hookup? Maybe I am in a period of extreme jadedness (?) but when I am out and looking around that is mainly what I see going on.

dan said...

great post, sometimes I feel like I'm missing the big city life, sometimes not so much.
I'm asking myself how unique would I have been etc.. ha
better luck next outing.
later stud.

Anonymous said...

Those meat market things are awash in that slutty BS. Thinking people such as yourself are seldom comfortable at them IMHO.

Make your own life and someone will show up. Believe me I never thought it possible, but it is.

You seem like a pretty great guy Justin, don't let festival twinks make you question that.

Anonymous said...


I've been a reader for a few months, this is my first time commenting.

I've only lived in Chicago for a year and haven't really had the exposure to make a judgment about the whole Chicago gay community, but from the little I've seen it seems like you have your finger right on the pulse of the situation.

But people like you and Dean and the rest of the commenters make me feel so much better about the fact that I don't fit into the mold, even if sometimes I wish I would because I feel it would be "easier".

I think that, far away from all the drunkenness, promiscuity and general destructive craziness of most of the gays, romance is alive, and it lives in people like us. And that is about the cheesiest thing I have said in a while, I apologize :).

Slightly unrelated: I love to dance and have fun with friends and maybe flirt a little but I hate the sex-charged atmosphere in gay clubs where everyone's main goal isn't to have fun, but to be sure to get shitfaced and leave at the end of the night with someone who they probably already got to second base with in the middle of the dancefloor.

We might not fit in, but a least we can bask in the fact that we're better than that :).

LOVE the blog!

Take care,

A-Gay in Chi

"Just David!" said...

Very funny post! I haven't been to Market Days in a few years but that pretty much summed it up! And being from New Orleans, I can never find fault in anything with a Mardi Gras theme! Ha!