Saturday, April 18, 2009

HOT MESS OF THE NIGHT

On my home from work tonight I thought, "hey Justin, it might be amusing to start a new series in which I describe the HOTTEST MESS that I encountered while working as as Doorman on Friday Nights. So, without further ado...

Let's call her Pleather Face. That might seem cold, but since she was wearing a shiny, pink, Pleather Mini-Skirt, which incidentally resembled her face, the comparison seems apt. Although the picture below does not accurately reflect the tone/texture/fierceness of her get-up, the overall vibe (in particular the look on this person's face) is close enough to this person's overall "vibe". 

Needless to say, she was drunk; while attempting to apply lip gloss and walking (in her 18" heels) she nearly stabbed herself in the eye. HOT MESS. She and her companion, a rumbled looking middle-aged guy whose demeanor allowed me to consider if Pleather Face was an escort of some sort. Oh, and together they both reminded me of a drunk version of the "2 A-Holes" fron SNL. 

  

After I locked the door and burned a few pancakes with the cocktail waitress (such an awesome perk in this day and age - indoor smoking!) she told me how Pleather Face and her Boo were "religiously" grinding on one another, sucked down 3 drinks each in the space of 40 minutes, then failed to sign the credit card receipt when they left. AWESOME.

2 comments:

james said...

shitheads.

you should do something with the credit card receipt, like report it as stolen, so as to mess up their (presumably sober) day like they f-ed over who ever was waiting on them.

Billy said...

I just want to watch you work at least once!