Saturday, April 18, 2009


On my home from work tonight I thought, "hey Justin, it might be amusing to start a new series in which I describe the HOTTEST MESS that I encountered while working as as Doorman on Friday Nights. So, without further ado...

Let's call her Pleather Face. That might seem cold, but since she was wearing a shiny, pink, Pleather Mini-Skirt, which incidentally resembled her face, the comparison seems apt. Although the picture below does not accurately reflect the tone/texture/fierceness of her get-up, the overall vibe (in particular the look on this person's face) is close enough to this person's overall "vibe". 

Needless to say, she was drunk; while attempting to apply lip gloss and walking (in her 18" heels) she nearly stabbed herself in the eye. HOT MESS. She and her companion, a rumbled looking middle-aged guy whose demeanor allowed me to consider if Pleather Face was an escort of some sort. Oh, and together they both reminded me of a drunk version of the "2 A-Holes" fron SNL. 


After I locked the door and burned a few pancakes with the cocktail waitress (such an awesome perk in this day and age - indoor smoking!) she told me how Pleather Face and her Boo were "religiously" grinding on one another, sucked down 3 drinks each in the space of 40 minutes, then failed to sign the credit card receipt when they left. AWESOME.


james said...


you should do something with the credit card receipt, like report it as stolen, so as to mess up their (presumably sober) day like they f-ed over who ever was waiting on them.

Billy said...

I just want to watch you work at least once!