Friday, March 6, 2009

YOU DESERVE A BLOWJOB: ROOMMATE EDITION

Perhaps it's my warped world view that's clouded with the very real possibility of abject poverty and it's close friend rampant drunken-ness, but there seems to be a dearth of people that legitimately deserve BJ's these days (the one I got last week was a total fluke and I don't feel I actually deserved it. Did I enjoy it? Fuck and yes.)

Anywho, there is a one person in particular I deem to be blow-job worthy. Ironically, he doesn't seem to have any difficulty in procuring said service; regardless, he is a deserving soul, and this man's name is Current Roomie!

In the past I have mentioned that my Roommate is exceptionally hot. Maybe that's because I have always had a thing for Latinos, but there are other reasons. I'll list the more practical reasons in a moment. 

First, let me describe a recent incident. I was typing away at my computer when Roommie appeared leaning against the door frame to my room...nonchalantly licking peanut butter off his fingers while talking to me about baseball. FUCK! Sometimes I think he is trying to give me blue balls. 

Oh, and here's another isolated incident of hotness: one time were sitting around watching UFC when one of the Ring Girl's came out (presumably to reassure the heterosexual audience of men that they are not, indeed gay for enjoying the spectacle of muscular men wearing close to nothing grappling with one another) and he says: "I'm so tired of dating girls like that". GULP. If I were straight that would seem like a nice problem to have. But I digress...

Outside of providing me with masturbatory material, here are the other, REAL reasons why Roomie deserves as many BJ's as he can handle:

-I've never had to ask for a rent check; it magically appears on my desk at least a week before it's due.
-He never, EVER leaves dirty dishes in the sink.
-The garbage and recycling will disappear before I ever get a chance to take it out.
-Perhaps as a result of his fellow doctor friends, he constantly gets free tickets to shit. Example, he already took me (gratis) to a Bulls game and this Sunday we're seeing Watchmen on an IMAX screen. And these benefits are also extended to my friends!
-Last Friday I went on a cleaning spree and he offered to clean the bathroom, which I HATE cleaning (I agreed to do all the vacuuming/mopping/sweeping/dusting - none of which I mind doing).
-We almost never see each other. He works nights and sleeps during the day. Not once has he ever complained about my music or the TV being too loud (though I frequently ask to make sure). 

Bottom line: out of all the bullshit that I've dealt with the last few months, he's never once given me even a modicum of stress. For that I am eternally grateful, and will be glad to express this emotion in the form of daily BJ's. Too bad we don't play for the same team. Sigh.

6 comments:

borg_queen said...

Does he know you're gay?

Thomas said...

Yey for the return of deserve-ed blowjobs!

TPR said...

Sounds like the perfect guy, let alone just roommate.

JUSTIN said...

@Borq...yes, I made that clear before he moved in. I guess what I was trying to say with this post is that I am as comfortable as he is with his sexuality.

And it shouldn't be weird for a gay guy and a straight guy to live together without it being a premise for a TV show!

OK...sleepy time...

Anonymous said...

Justin,
Sweet story for the weekend.
Your skill to focus on the good,in an era of joblessness and wealth destruction,is rare.

May the BJ fairy bring you the job of your dreams, and an Infiniti Essence in your garage.

Anonymous said...

Straight guys like blow jobs too!

You may have to ease him into it with foot massages first.