Wednesday, January 7, 2009

HAPPY 2009 BITCHES!

I really wanted my first blog post of 2009 to be special; like something earnest and deep and thoughtful. But as it turns out I did the opposite, sort of.

Got home tonight after a long day of tramping about the city. Finally, after 2 years or so of saying aloud I would do so, I visited the new Chicago History Museum with my buddy. The exhibits were predictable (Chicago Fire/World's Fair/Fort Dearborn, etc...all represented on the ink on my left arm, dur) but the artifacts were fucking awesome! A police helmet from the DNC riots? CTA "L" #1 train car? Abe Lincoln's death bed? Fucking cool. I ate that shit UP.

Afterwards, my buddy and I continued about the city, smoking, drinking. One friend's house turned into another, and by the time I got home, an hour ago, I was tired. But happy. With my curiosity sated. And my mind wired from strong herb.

So I did what usually do in such situations, and I made a nice Coke N' Whiskey, and smoked a Camel Light out on my back porch. While doing so I could hear the muted, "DEEP" conversation taking place on the landing below me between the neighbor's college aged son and some similar aged girl.

I wasn't trying to ease drop, but when the snow falls at night here in the Midwest, this curious thing happens, where loud city things turn quiet, and quiet things like conversations about "LIFE" turn less so. Not wanting to make my presence known to the point of intruding on these nice people's conversation, I stood still and quietly exhaled my cigarette.

But then...the enormous Chicken Caesar Salad I had a few hours prior caught up with my lower digestive track. And well:

A sounds not unlike a bugle emanated from my ass. I did my best to stifle my laughter, but I think it made things worse, and the young couple below me ended their discourse, and went back inside. Should I have apologized? I think it would have made an awkward situation worse.

So there you have it. My first post of the year. About farting...

5 comments:

Silly Billy said...

I would not have expected anything less actually.

Ian J Brooks said...

GUFFAW!!

Cockbag LLC said...

Not as awkward as accidentally burping in a guys mouth while making out. OOOPS!

Nolan said...

Entries like this is the reason why I love reading your blog. You crack me up.

Thomas said...

I coulda sworn I already commented here, but everyone seems to have already said:
We wouldn't want it any other way.