Thursday, November 13, 2008


Here and there I've referenced my friend "Gloria". Although I have many close friends, she is the one that I have known the longest that I still keep in contact with on a regular basis. We first met during my sophomore year of high school in a theater arts class. She can dispute this, but I am sure that the teacher paired us up because I would have never choose her as a partner, because, well, I thought she was a total fucking bitch.

The reason? Well, during my freshman year I started dating a girl that lived near me (and Gloria) therefore we all rode the same bus. My GF at the time and I would make out on the bus (seriously) and Gloria took it upon herself to point and laugh. Although it made me very self-conscious at the time, I can look back and laugh about it now.

Anyways, so Gloria and I got paired up along with another friend of mine. The three of us were assigned to perform a short scene, the details of which elude me at this point. But I do remember the three of us cruising around the Lake County suburbs in her white Chevy Blazer, getting insanely high, eating Burger King and not practicing our lines.

From that inglorious beginning, a relationship bloomed that I share with few other, if any people, on earth. Although I have several GREAT friends in my life, Gloria is a force unique to herself. She moved away after high school, but I visited her in places stretching from Montana to Washington, D.C and many places in between. And when she comes into town, as she did on Monday, people flock to her as if she was shitting gold coins.

This particular visit included copious amounts of laughter, whiskey (she literally mixed a cocktail in my car on our way to the Loop last night), ass slapping, nipple twisting, various other illicit substances which I won't specifically mention and some crying mixed in for good measure. Oh, and she kicked my ass in a bar on Monday Night (for real, she pushed me backwards and I toppled several chairs and landed on my back).

And this was a relatively quiet visit...



Cockbag LLC said...

I got bitch slapped by my "girl" at a Cards game. I know how you feel and Gloria looks like lots of fun to be with.

B said...

Some people are one of a kind. I'm amazed you're still in contact with someone from high school, and are that close. I cant say the same.

ultimate said...

damn she looks hot, and yes those friendships are rare. sounds like ya'll had some FUN. later

Thomas said...

Maybe I've hung out with my straight guy friends too much, but I've noticed the funnest women are those willing to flash their boobs at windows, strangers and me.

Anonymous said...

1. It was "Brighton Beach Memoirs".
2.I did not "point and laugh". I just made snide comments. Loudly. Sorry, but making out on the school bus is so gay.
3. Justin is my best bitchface. Always has been, always will be. He's stuck with me for life. It is a burden for which few are properly equipped.
4.Tuesday night got ugly, in the best possible way. You should have stuck around.
5. Folks, I am available for parties. And worth every penny.