Saturday, March 22, 2008


So, I've been a bit of movie watching tear as of late. It's probably due in part to the weather (we got 7" or 8" of snow yesterday on the North Side) and having had yesterday off. Two of the three movies I thought were excellent; but let's begin with the flaming pile of shit I watched on Wednesday Night.

I'll be honest. Every so often I put some bullshit on my Netflix queue. While scanning various titles something will pique my interest, however by time it arrives, usually a month or so later, I will have totally forgotten about why I rented the movie.


In this case, I apparently decided at some point that I wanted to watch "The First Gay British Chinese Movie". Gawd was this awful. How bad was it? I was thinking of returning it via Fed Ex to get it as far away from me as fast as possible. It might have been worse than anything I have ever seen. And that includes "Overboard".

Still, bad as it was I couldn't turn it off. Five minutes in I realized what a grave mistake I had made, got up intending to turn it off, but it was so bad...I couldn't do it. So I paused it, made a stiff Bacardi & Coke and dug in my heels for what was sure to result in me regretting 2 hours of my life lost watching this shit.

Here's a preview:

What if you're gay buddy called you up one day and said "you know, I'm just not meeting the type of guys that I'm into" and the solution to said problem included becoming a tranny? And then pursuing a relationship with a sorta-hot-ex-Green-Beret who refuses to admit he's gay. Who then decides he's also a tranny and the two boy/girls live happily ever after.

Then there's the other guy. A fading "Go-Go-Boy" who has disowned his family, seems to have but one friend (the sorta-tranny) and apparently decided to blow some Kinda-Hot-Blond-Bloke from the burbs in a train station. The Bloke shows up at his doorstep, but Bitch won't have none of it. By the time Bitch realizes he loves Bloke, Bloke has turned into a gay stripper/meth-head/asshole.

Oh, and the movie starts with their other BFF having died during blowjob/poppers-sniffing induced heart attack in the stall of a bathroom (in a subway). Neither friends seem to give a shit that their BFF is dead, to the point of flirting with the priest during the funeral. This movie makes me want to attend one of those "scared straight" programs in Texas. Better yet, Arkansas.


This one I went to see "in person", as in a proper theater. And it was THE SHIT! My friend didn't like it that much, but I thought it nothing short of brilliant. My enthusiasm likely stems from my technical appreciation of the movie, particularly the editing.

One scene in particular stands out; the main character, who by the way has never acted in a film, dumps his bitchy/diva GF. Her reaction takes places in slow-mo, with no actual audible dialogue. And it's a moment of pure genius. Mixing 8mm film stock with 35mm is also beyond refreshing in this day and age of Hi-Def.

Take a look:

It's basically a "who-done-it" flick, and in this case you know who did it, but you don't know how or why until it's over. Although I watched this movie on Thursday Night, it still lingers in my head. Gus van Sant is one of my favorite directors, and this is his best film in years. Good. Shit.


As much as I enjoyed Paranoid Park, I liked this one better. [Full disclosure: I've had a crush on Joseph Gordon-Levitt since Third Rock From the Sun, long before I realized which team I play for.] Outside of that, this is a finely written movie, almost the an-thesis of Paranoid Park (which is all about the visual aspect of story telling) with a narrative structure like a mothafuckah.

It begins with a much younger JGL in his glory days when he's a Mustang-Driving-Ice-Hockey-Jock. One fateful night he's driving down a dark country road when, OH FUCK! happens. Head trauma ensues but he lives, albeit in a lessor state. He is however, deemed capable of being a janitor at a local bank...the shady/womanizer/oddly attractive dude enters the picture. He has already decided to rob the bank that JGL works at, but they want him to be...The Lookout:

Does that not look like an awesome movie? I'm here to tell you that it is, indeed, all kinds of awesome. Sweet trailer too; having watched it, it's cool how they start the clip at the "Holy Shit!" part of the film. The rest of it is very entertaining as well...WHOEVER HAS THE MONEY HAS THE POWER!


Devyn said...

Diane and Ross??? Oohhhh, my stomach just turned.

Silly Billy said...

Tranny's are people too, you know.

The Lookout does look awesome though.

Speedy said...

I dunno. I could deal with the sorta-hot ex-Green Beret who didn't know if he was gay, even with a little makeup . . .