Wednesday, February 6, 2008

PLEASE SIR, I'D LIKE SOME MORE

In the early morning hours of Wednesday, February 6, a large and very ominous snow storm hovered over the Greater Chicagoland Area, dumping a tremendous amount of snow upon the region...

EVIL SNOW STORM: "HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
CHICAGOANS: (feigning grief-stricken terror) "...yawn..."
EVIL SNOW STORM: "MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
CHICAGOANS: (casually filing nails) "...sigh..."
EVIL SNOW STORM: "..."
CHICAGOANS: "streets seem a bit slick"
EVIL SNOW STORM: (grimacing, getting pissed off) "I SHALL UNLEASH UPON YOU A WINTER STORM THE LIKES OF WHICH YOU HAVE YET TO SEE!"
CHICAGOANS: (rolls eyes) "like that storm from the late 1970's that cost Mayor Bilandic his re-election? Yeah, that sucked ass, but after that we determined not to let that shit happen again. Now we put snow plows on garbage trucks and shit..."
EVIL SNOW STORM: "...plows...on garbage trucks?"
CHICAGOANS: "thats right asshole, so let us fucking have it. In fact, give us your best/worst, we may not have to go to work in fact."
EVIL SNOW STORM: (about to lose it's damn mind) "YOU SHALL FEEL MY WRATH FOR VOTING FOR OBAMA! WE ALL KNOW HILLARY HAS THE EXPERIENCE THAT WE NEED TO LEAD OUR NATION IN A NEW DIRECTIO-"
CHICAGOANS: "piss off asshole - go fuck with Indiana"

A personal thanks to the Snow God(s) that rule the Midwestern skies - I really enjoyed having my boss call me at 7:12AM just to tell me NOT to come into work. Woot!

Today was spent sleeping until 11AM, working out at the gym, grocery shopping, doing laundry and looking for jobs. Pretty fucking awesome.

So awesome, that I pose a challenge to said Snow God(s): RIP US A NEW ONE MOTHERFUCKER(S)! Seriously, I don't want to go to work tomorrow...give us more snow!

7 comments:

Frontier Psychiatrist said...

Frontier Psychiatrist: (Falls on ass while going to train this morning. Gets up. Pretends it didn't happen and that none of the passing motorists or pedestrians noticed. Says nothing.)

redgalaxoid said...

I dream to move to Chicago really someday, but it's because both times I've been there, it's been on summer time, so the wind coming from the lake was a friendly, refreshing breeze, not an evil snow storm trying to freeze everything it touches...that thought kinda takes a lot of appeal away from my dream.

Steven said...

I shovelled over 18 inches of snow today. Gives me a good reason to hate winter.

Dwight said...

Oh, I love Chicago so much that even reading about the snow I still wanna move there!

FitnessNerd said...

Indiana says you can keep that shit to yourself!

Silly Billy said...

Maybe I don't miss the snow as much as I thought. Although a day off from work would be sweet.

Nate said...

gee, why the fucking snow moved here? I checked weather forecast 10 times and it was sunny for the weekend and now it's all snow.
I'd rather have the sun than a day off :-D