Friday, January 18, 2008


While lounging in my cubicle at work this afternoon, doing my best impersonation of someone who gives a fuck about his job (i.e., upon hearing the Boss Man approach I pick up the phone and start writing down gibberish on a note pad - this is but one weapon in my slacker arsenal) I over hear the following conversation taking place in the cubicle next to mine:

ANNOYING CO-WORKER: (in a thick eastern European accent) "Hey 'Boss-Ski' I have report ready, blah, blah, etc..."
BOSSMAN: " yesterday I sent out two e-mails, one of which I don't think I should have sent out?"
NICE CO-WORKER: (feigning seemingly obvious ignorance) "Oh?"
BOSSMAN: "Yeah, well I am sure you saw the e-mail I sent out about Obama yesterday, right?"
ANNOYING CO-WORKER: (sighs dramatically) "No, no, I so busy with work!"
NICE CO-WORKER: "yeah, I seem to remember something like that..."
BOSSMAN: "Well, Mrs. Bossman pointed out some glaring inaccuracies in that e-mail, so I did some research on It seems that Obama really does attend a Christan church on the South Side, and is, in fact, NOT a Muslim. Also, He did NOT in fact, use the Koran instead of the bible when he was sworn into office..."
BOSSMAN: "...that was another Senator from another state...ugh, hmmm, which one I am not su-"
JUSTIN'S INNER MONOLOGUE: "uh, Minnesota you mis-guided fool!"
NICE CO-WORKER: "Oh, how interesting".
BOSSMAN: "I guess I should look into these things before I send them out to you guys".
JUSTIN'S INNER MONOLOGUE: (fist clenched) "You fucking GUESS?"

Argh! This is not a joke - I was actually privy to this conversation at work this afternoon, and it took all the patience I could muster not to lose it. Of course, I had to immediately vacate my desk and go outside for a cigarette to chill out, but, we all have different ways to cope, I suppose.

If I were to be "fair and balanced" (HAHA) I would give him credit for taking the time out his apparently less than busy day to do the research to disown his temporarily misguided beliefs, but that's like proclaiming someone "World's Greatest Grandpa", by which I mean that would be a hollow, obvious and vacant proclamation. FUCK THAT.

Moving On...

After receiving the semi-infamous e-mail yesterday I was eating lunch when a weird 312 area code number popped up on my phone. I didn't answer but the voicemail I received certainly piqued my curiosity, as it was a call from a recruitment agency I had interviewed with about two years ago, seeing if I was looking for a job!

Obviously, I called back, and having spoken with the nice woman, the job seems well suited to my skill set. We'll see how this goes; though I am eager to remove myself from this current unfortunate employment situation, I am going to take my time in finding a new job. Having said that, making 20% more than I do now and working in the SEARS TOWER (!!!) makes me hot under the collar. Woot!

THANKS to all the earnest comments/suggestions/thoughts left on yesterday's post. I will take them all into consideration as I move forward. For now, I intend to enjoy the beer I "bought" with the $11 I found on the ground in front of my local 7-11. Free Beer! Happy Friday! Burp!


K said...

Congrats on the really do need to get your ass out of that office. That guy is redic!

Anonymous said...

Since it sounds like you might be making a trip to the Sears Tower in the near future, you should stop by Obama campaign headquarters. It's right across the street at 300 W. Adams, 10th floor. The campaign store is open everyday and you can pick up a button or something to wear to work to silently vocalize your support! They're also always looking for volunteers - not to mention there are tons of hot dudes there.

B said...

The guy who used the Koran is actually Rep. Keith Ellison, D-MN, not one of our Senators...but you were close!

yes, I'm full of MN political knowledge, for better or worse.

Soul Seared Dreamer said...

Good luck with the job-hunt.

dan said...

i just want to know how you and jason remember conversations word for word! ha ha.
great post buddy.
have a good week.

eliot said...

it's fate!

Dwight said...

oh god, I think I am spoiled/sheltered working in academia. nobody would dare send out anything like that1