Sunday, January 13, 2008


On Friday night I met my Bro and his GF at a Wrigleyville bar for several rousing games of Connect Four. Turns out, I fucking suck at that game! Still I had fun just talking and sipping beers with the Bro/GF Dynamic Duo.

One topic of conversation was that of my Father's relationship with his Partner In Crime (my term, not theirs). A few friends have expressed astonishment at the relative lack of knowledge I have about they met and all that.

Honestly, I tend not to pry because it really doesn't matter to me. What is of import is that he is happy. Period.

However, being a curious person I am intrigued when certain details are revealed, like what I was told on Friday night, over a game of Connect Four.

Father was in town for a day/night this past week, but unfortunately I was unable to see him (although he returns next week, so it's all good).

Over lunch, my Father related certain details about his Partner. For example, Father's Partner's former Partner died three years ago, a result of him being an alcoholic and a diabetic.

This caused Father's Partner to become severely depressed, and in a sad turn of irony, he began to exhibit signs of alcoholism.

Then, he met my Father through mutual friends (I swear to God there must be another network of older gay male bloggers that my Father is a part of, haha).

See, my Father is diabetic. Thankfully, he is not an alcoholic (he's a lightweight - my ability to consume booze comes from my Mother's side) but I think that formed the basis of a major connection.

Whatever; bottom line is that since they have been living together, Father's Partner has stopped drinking in excess, and my Father is no longer taking anxiety medication, and he sleeps well now (which was a problem for him in the past).

So whatever their true status is...doesn't matter to me because my Father is visibly happier than he has been in a LONG time. Dare I say, he seems to be experiencing some sort of belated renaissance.

He even told me so, and as you can imagine, Father's can be cagey about expressing their emotions. That alone is HUGE progress for My Old Man.

I love him.


Spilled Drambuie said...

i suck at that game too.

Chicago's Bi Guy said...

Wrigleyville is nothing but Trouble. I was at the Cubby Bear on Friday/Saturday and I was paying for it the next day. I wish I had the kind of relationship with my father that you have with yours (actually with your whole family).

J.R. said...


I bet you and your dad already read and comment on each others' blogs, but you're both too stupid to realize that one's posts are always from the exact opposite POV than the other's. And you both e-mailed each other about how it sucks that you didn't get to meet up while you were in NYC recently... and too bad you never knew each other while he was living here in Chicago until this past fall—but maybe you should meet his son, who still lives in Chicago and he suspects is gay. You and his son seems to have A LOT in common...

Or, maybe "too stupid" isn't the right phrasing (because I don't want to get in trouble)... instead, you're too smart! It's like that intelligence test where you have to figure out how to fit a bus through a low-ceilinged tunnel, and only small children seem to realize that you need to deflate the tires...

(It would be even MORE awesome if I was your dad and making this snarky observation while STILL not getting it.)

Nothing Golden Stays

Anonymous said...

Time for you and dad to talk and bond over struggling to come to terms with being gay. Seriously, why are you waiting? Do I need to remind you that diabetes significantly reduces life span? You should not assume that your dad will be around for many years to come. Do you really think he is going to reject you, since he is likely gay himself?