Friday, December 28, 2007


Question: What possesses people to put stuffed animals in their cars?

Answer: To piss me the fuck off.

Even better, people that do this tend to be older women who drive 10-20 miles below the speed limit. Case in point, I was on my way home from work today when I got stuck behind am elderly woman driving a Buick Century (it was "champagne" in color and had those tacky gold nameplates on the trunk - nice contrast).

These people naturally tend to drive slower, either because of poor eyesight, or an overwhelming sense of doom that results from driving the actual posted speed limit (memo to Chicago drivers - the "official" citywide speed limit of 30MPH is merely a suggestion - it is much safer to move along with traffic, or get the hell out of my way).

Granted, the weather was less than perfect during my drive home, but it wasn't really slippery, at least not so slippery to warrant driving 15MPH. For 2 fucking miles. But what really got me steamed was that I had to look at a stuffed poodle resting just above the rear seats of this woman's Buick. I really don't appreciate being mocked by inanimate objects.



Matt-CNS said...

stuffed animals are stupid in cars. However I hate slow drivers more. Why is it when I want to break the speed limit there are always people who want to be good boy scouts and follow it!

dan said...

ha ha, that's hilarious posting man. love it.
man I'd be swooning over you pulling up in your ride. you stud.
have a HAPPY NEW YEAR bud. later.

Brian said...

Hey Justin - I don't know what that lady was doing in front of you, she usually keeps pretty busy blocking my way in Bridgeport.

Cool blog man, keep it up!


Justin, I'm mocked my inanimate objects every day...


Every day.