Saturday, December 29, 2007


One "liability" of owning a slick Japanese ride is that I will pull up to a light and find another guy driving a slick Japanese ride who wants to race. Usually I will choose not to participate, since I am not a tool. However, tonight was an exception, and I decided to play along.

Having just exited the Edens Expressway, my newly washed ride was feeling feisty, and I was too. So when I pulled up to the light, and saw a tricked out, slammed, white Nissan 350Z with 20" chrome dubs, I eyeballed the driver, a black guy sporting slick gear.

With one eye on the stoplight (on the opposite street - I have this habit of watching the other lights to turn from green to yellow - and shift into 1st gear but stand on the brake) with my other eye on my iPod. I busted Jay-Z's "Ignorant Shit" almost as loud as it could go, tightened my grip on my wheel and...

BOOM! I left the guy get a few yards ahead of me, then stomped on the gas, spun my tach to 7000RPM and smoked his ass. Just to be a total dick about it, I noticed that the light ahead was about to turn red, so I pulled into the right lane, in front of the Nissan, so he had no choice but to stare at my ride's ass.

Suck it bitch! You got smoked by a ride with 2 fewer cylinders and 70+ HP less. You need to work on your heel and toe game son! Or perhaps I need to grew the fuck up and stop being a mildly retarded, post adolescent child. Whatever. My car is happy, as am I. Now, I need to win some money playing Texas Hold 'Em tonight to pay for gasoline...WOOT!


Steven said...

I never knew a Toyota Camry could do that.

Anonymous said...

I wish I had a dick to wave around!


K said...


You just turned into one of those guys I would always make fun of on the street.

I still love you tho!

(Fast and Furious, Mo' Edition?)

FitnessNerd said...

Whenever I see guys doing that, I feel sorry for their small penis size.

Poor guys