Saturday, June 30, 2007


Thursday night was spent drinking beers with Marco at the "gay sports bar" (which interestingly is about to spawn an "Irish gay bar" - Chicago kicks ass). On the phone before we met up he asked me where I wanted to go. When I mentioned the gay sports bar he agreed and I said "sounds good to me". Then he said "well, do you want to go or not?" I responded that I did and he said "Justin, you must be more aggressive!"

Now I have no idea how people perceive me but I think that I am, in essence, a very laid back guy. It's not that I don't show emotions but the way in which I exhibit them is, perhaps, a little subtle. When I'm in a really good mood I laugh often and I have a tendency to raise my eyebrows but I don't bounce off the walls as some of friends tend to do. My friends can tell when I'm angry because I'll say little or nothing and furrow my brow.

Marco on the other hand, is the extreme opposite. This is not a surprise since Latins are known to be very emotional and expressive, which he certainly is. Since my ethnic background is German, and I'm a Midwesterner, I tend to be more stoic than excitable. Still, when I caught sight of him I lit up like a Christmas tree. We embraced each other and he sat down next me, actually, he was practically on top of me. And for the 2 hours or so we were there he planted his right leg on the bottom rung of the bar stool, as if to say "back off bitches, this skinny white boy is mine!"

More than once he asked why I was acting so shy. I didn't think I was being shy, in fact I was just being myself, but I can understand why he would think that because after he said I was being shy I became of self conscious. Marco said "tell me everything!" at which point my mind drew a blank. When I speak about myself it's usually not preceded by a question. It felt almost like a test question. "Uh, well I was born in Canada" was my answer, if memory serves.

In the middle of my friendly interrogation I noticed a familiar face. At first, I couldn't figure out were I knew this guy from. Then he passed by me on his way to the bathroom. He seemed to be having the thoughts as I did. A moment later, it hit me. He used to work at old place of employment. The source of our confusion, I think, was #1, I was not out when I worked with him (and therefore it would seem odd that I was at a gay bar), and #2, he seemed to have gained the weight that I lost over the last 2 years.

So there I was. Marco ticking off question after question while Guy I Used to Work With bored holes in to the back of my head with his eyes. Marco noticed it too and said "this person keeps looking at you". Every time I looked over he was looking at me, but he never came over to say hello or anything, and I didn't want to confuse Marco by going over and talking to this guy that wouldn't stop looking at me. It was an odd scene (note to self, that might play well in a screenplay).

Towards the end of night, and perhaps emboldened by 4 Blue Moons, Marco loudly announced how Latin men are different than white men. He told me how a friend of his left Bogota and m to Paris, but after 3 years he went back home because he just couldn't figure out the guys there. "Yeah, we can be confusing at times" was all I could muster. A-W-K-W-A-R-D! He then precedes to tell me how much he likes me and that about when I started feeling a little overwhelmed.

It really was a mistake to get naked with this guy after hanging out twice. I like this guy, but I'm trying to get to know him better and my actions seem to be confusing to him (shit, sometimes they confuse ME). One time I said to a friend that "there is compromise and then there is incompatibility" (this is also the prospective title to as yet unwritten relationship advice book - that was a joke). That's not to say that Marco and I are incompatible, and I'm open to compromise. We just time to let this grow, or at least I do.

PS - This might be the first post I have ever written and not found any misspelled words with spell check. Who's your Daddy now?


Hamilton said...

It is a human game imho.

People who is more animated than others tend to animate even more around those less excited people. At the same time, their desire to be excited and animated is fueled by the intimadation that others feel. That is how some people, especially you see in the frat parties seem to be getting high on air.

I dont know. Personality differences maybe refreshing and brings out the best of both parties but it could also be a defining point which makes or breaks a relationship. I wish u the best Justin! I hope this one works out for the best no matter what the final outcome is! :p

J.R. said...

In the past month, I've twice had a friend tell a stranger that I "don't get excited" or "always look bored" even when I'm having a good time. Hmmm... Feels like something I should work on whenever they say it like that.

However, when I'm around just my close friends, I tend to be the most animated and goofy one of us all. I imagine it disappoints/frustrates them that I get so stoic when they introduce me to new people. Sorry, buddies!

Silly Billy said...

Well, getting naked with him is also a way to see if you are compatible or not, no?

dan said...

awesome post, sounds like you ahd agreat weekend. man, I'm so laid back with guys and hardly ever make a move, but I guess my thing is them coming on to me.
latin always hot, and gee whiz with a buzz haircut you are probably looking like quite the stud. nice. and in Chicago, has to be plenty to choose from.ha.enjoy!

Dee said...

Wow Justin sounds like your weekend was a blast. As for the getting naked with the guy on the second date I don't think there is anything wrong with that. You two might just be on different roads in your life right now (sounds like he's on the fast track to wanting a relationship and you're on the road to finding out more about him).

But at least you know he likes you and maybe just telling him you want to take it a bit slower is all he needs to hear.

Anonymous said...

He "m to Paris"? Sounds like a typo to me. And furthermore- I told you to keep your panties on! Have I ever led you astray?!? Love you, Bitchface....

JUSTIN said...

Blow me Gloria. I am but one man without an editor. Kerouac published his first drafts, why can't I?

Agreed, you did indeed tell me to "keep my panties on", yet my impulsive nature got the best of me.