Friday, June 22, 2007


A few weeks ago I called up Comcast and asked to have my cable television service cut off. I'm not trying to watch less TV or anything noble like that, but since the Roomie is gone for the Summer I have to pay all the utility bills. Along with our Internet service, the Cable TV bill was pushing $125+ a month. Not cheap. But the Comcast Representative I talked to got me a new deal in which I get to keep basic cable along with the Internet and the bill has now magically plunged to less than $60 a month. Not bad.

Last night my buddy MarK came over and we had some drinks while we shot the shit. Around 10:15 I suggested we watch some Colbert Report. Word. Since the Comcast overloads removed my digital cable box I no longer have a remote control that changes the channels and now that the channel lineup is different I have no fucking clue which channel is what. My solution? Watch the channel guide for 5 minutes until I see the little block with Colbert's name on it. Channel 54. Great.

When I get to channel 53 I hit the "up" button on the TV expecting to see Colbert's face. Channel 53 skips to channel 56. Fuck. Hit the down button, no luck, I'm back to 53. Fuck. MarK helpfully suggests I need to reprogram the TV so that the new Channels are added. After 10 minutes of holding down the 4 buttons I have to work with I hit the magical combination and the TV resets the channels. OK, back in business. I hit another button to exit the setup screen, but it resets all the channels again. Damnit!

Now keep in mind that throughout all of this technical madness (if you haven't realized yet - I am not a tech savvy individual) my phone keeps beeping at me because the Colombian Architect guy keeps texting me asking me about my plans for the weekend. My understanding of his messages is less than that of the programming functions on my TV. At one point I received this message: "So you are to have fun for both us in Boston"? Huh?

After another message I realize he means "Boystown" not "Boston". This guy even types with an accent. I was still confused though as I thought he was going to be at the Pride Parade in Boystown on Sunday. We texted back and forth a few more times in between me fucking with the TV. Although I'm not 100% sure I think he and his friend will, in fact, be at the Pride Parade, so I hope to see him then. The other things that threw me off was that he types "jejejeje" which I think means "hehehehe". I hope.

Back to the TV. At this point Colbert is long over with but I still want to watch something. Well, I successfully eliminated every channel except Fox, PBS, C-Span, 3 channel guides, 7 public access channels and Univision. Wonderful. Given the choice between watching the Senate vote on some obscure appropriations bill, Angry Baptist Ministers urging me to "Get More Jesus In Your Life" and a dating show on Univision, we chose the dating show (or rather I did because 2 of the Mexican guys were smoking hotties).

Perhaps the Columbian can come over sometime and translate for me. Or speak dirty to me in Spanish.


Soul Seared Dreamer said...

Ever hear of something called a manual?

JUSTIN said...

Yeah, I suppose could have consulted the manual, if I had one...

jay said...

LOL. That accent may not be too useful when it comes to conversations but I'm sure it comes in horny (and yes I mean horny) when needed.

Dee said...

LOL Justin you are just to funny for words. I hope you had fun this weekend.