Thursday, April 19, 2007

THE MORNING AFTER

I'm still a little shock about last night's turn of events. I was talking to my Mom on the phone and she said "so what else is going on"? I paused for a moment and said "well there's something I was meaning to tell you last weekend when I was in Phoenix but I didn't think the timing was right…but I wanted to tell you I'm gay". Her reaction was by and large positive and but she did express concern for my health/safety, (I think there's a weird perspective on the "gay lifestyle" from our parents-age perspective, but that's another post altogether). Not that I can blame her; a good friend of hers from college and her one of her cousins died of AIDS back in the 80's. I explained I’m not running laps around Boystown having unprotected sex with random strangers, which seemed to mollify her fears.

Regardless, I'm glad that I finally did it. I suppose it would have been better to tell her in person, or perhaps told her before I told most if not all of my friends, but I'm genetically opposed to awkward situations and kept putting this off for years. Now that it's done and done, I feel like a slightly different person, yet somehow more myself. If that sounds vague maybe it's because I'm typing this from my desk at work and I'm a little hung over from last night.

I'm supposed to hang out with my brother and his girlfriend later tonight. I don't know if I'm brave enough to come out to them right now, but I'm sure as shit ready to be done with my semi-closest status. It's fucking exhausting.

This will not be a productive day at work.

5 comments:

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Congrats! You've survived the hardest part. I don't think you should feel bad about telling your friends before your family - telling friends is good rehearsal for the big dance. I think that's how most of us do it, isn't it?

Hamilton said...

congrats! you should do it to your brother. If your mom and dad can accept it, it'd be almost impossible for your bro to have any problem. it won't make sense. so don't worry about it

Hamilton said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
dan said...

WOW! I can't even imagine anything like that yet happening to me. but I'm glad it went well.
I supposed there must be some freedom.
good to hear it was a nice weekend, I was cracking up about the guy playing pool, not a guy. ah man! later.

J.R. said...

Wow man. Since I live in another state from my family, I'm really struggling with how appropriate it would be to come out over the phone. On the one hand, I just wanna get it done...(well, part of me wants to just get it done!) but on the other, doing it on the phone just seems... informal?? I don't know. But (two months later) congrats on getting it done, yourself!

Nothing Golden Stays