Sunday, April 22, 2007

"HAVE YOU EVER HAD A BLOWJOB?"

The above question was posed to me last night by the 40-something Puerto Rican lesbian from NYC I somehow befriended. I was momentarily befuddled before I realized she was referring to the shot, not the actual sexual act, (thus the true answer to both questions is now yes...haha).

I arrived at the popular Boystown spot around 11 or so and was instantly confused...the place was full of women. The bartender explained that there was some sort of an lesbian empowerment event taking place. Having already paid the cover I ordered a Miller Lite and settled into my seat and started chatting with the women sitting next to me. Maria just moved to Chicago a few weeks ago after having been granted a divorce from what sounded like a total asshole, (thankfully no kids are involved). She said she needed a change from her life in New York City and we talked a lot about the coming out process. I expressed my admiration for her ability to make the major change in her life to be happy.

The music was bumping in the other room and we went to check out the dance floor which is when we did the blow job shots, (I must say I prefer the real deal over the nasty liquor laced variety). Afterwards I excused myself to the bathroom and went to seek out the cute boy I had my eyes on. He was shooting pool and after grabbing another beer I confidently strutted up and asked to play the winner, which was the cute guy.

About 10 seconds later I realized the cute boy was not a boy at all. She was a she.

I have the worst luck at gay bars. I still stayed and chatted and shoot a half assed game of pool (my 8-ball skills went into remission). Midway through the game Maria found me and whispered "you now that's a girl, yes?". "Yes, Maria, I now know..." I replied. After finishing up the game we made a beeline for the dance floor which was populated by at least a dozen black dudes from the South Side. They were hot but not very easy to talk to. Perhaps I just wasn't their type.

On the way home I briefly nodded off on the the train and missed my stop which then required me to walk about 20 blocks home through a somewhat shady part of the city that cabby's apparently avoid at 3AM.

Obviously I didn't meet any boys but I still had an interesting night...

2 comments:

Hamilton said...

you know one thing i have never done, and probably won't do for a while is going out alone. I have never gone out alone doing almost anything. I one time had lunch alone at Cheesecake Factory and then watched a movie along because no one else wanted to see. Going out to a bar alone sounds extremely terrifying lol~~~

Dee said...

Hello I have to know which bar this was you where at. From the clues you've given (playing pool, dance floor in the back) I would guess you where at Roscoes am I correct?