Saturday, March 24, 2007

THE ROOMATE HAS LEFT THE BUILDING

Let me preface this post by stating that I like my roommate. Despite the fact that I live with woman and that once a month I'm I live in fear for my life I'm generally satisfied with my living arrangement. And for all practical purposes, she's my best friend. That being said I'm beside myself with joy that I have the place to myself for the next week. While my roommate is off in some po-dunk state on school trip, I'll be laying on the couch in my boxers watching baseball, eating pizza and drinking beer. I suppose at some point I'll have to take out the trash (which is nothing new, apparently having a penis means that one is uniquely qualified to dispose of unwanted items) but other than that I fully intend on the apartment looking like Def Leppard spent the week recording a new album. I can also use the bathroom without closing the door, masturbate without fear of being walked in on (which thankfully has only happened once in a year and a half of living together; I might have to post that story one day) or share the remote control. Although she left me a list of to do items, (her plants are probably going to die no matter how closely I follow the watering instructions) this new found freedom makes me feel like a teenager when my parents used to go out of town. PARTY TIME!

And just in case you were wondering, I will NOT be reenacting the scene from Risky Business. Fuck Bob Seeger. And Tom Cruise. Although now that I think of it I may at some point find myself wearing nothing but soccer shorts and bobbing my head to Jay-Z. Like right now.

3 comments:

DB said...

Sounds like a fun week is in store, enjoy. And I definitely agree that for some reason girls cannot take the trash out. In college, I lived in a 3 apt. house. The 2 other apts were both occupied by girls, while my male roomate and I had the top floor. In 2 years living there, the girls NEVER moved the group trash cans to the curb on trash pickup day. My roomate and I would purposely not take them out for a week or two to see if the girls got the message, but they never did. It was obnoxious.

V.J. Civic said...

From the sound of it, I may need to look harder for male roommates when I transfer. All I can find are girls.

Have fun with the week to yourself. Don't get too rowdy too quickly.

dan said...

awesome post.
I lived with girls before and let me tell you about the ahir EVERYWHERE in the shower, all around the drain and like stuck to the shower walls. ha. but even with guys, it's always awesome to get the house ALONE. hope you enjoyed it.
later.