Thursday, March 8, 2007


We celebrate birthdays at my work once a month. Previously we would celebrate on the specific day of our coworkers birthdays, which got rather old in certain months such as June when no less than 7 people inch one year closer to the grave. Thankfully, we no longer do that.

Today was March's Birthday Day. Not to sound like a total kill joy but there are few things I like doing less than gathering into a small kitchen space with approximately 30 people who all drone "Happy Birthday, to hmmmmmm, hmmmm, blaaaaaah, TO YOU!

For some reason I was given the dubious honor of lighting the candles. With a lighter in one hand and a white candle in the other I set about my task when someone said "hey looks like you're lighting something else, hahaha". I started blushing when I realized how much the white spiral shaped candle resembled a joint and how I was indeed employing my special lighting technique, (hold the object horizontally while twisting).

Although I've been at this job for slightly more than a year I have never once eaten a piece of birthday cake. My theory is that my sweet tooth was mistakenly extracted along with my wisdom teeth. And yet, every time we do the birthday thing, several of the women in the office will try to hand me a plate of cake which I politely brush off. This exchange is usually followed up by at least one of the woman in the office commenting on my "girlish figure".

And then there's the birthday cards. Is there anything less unique than receiving a birthday card with 30 "Happy Birthday! -XXXX" messages? I'm just as guilty as the next person because I never know what to write other than that standard greeting, although I have wondered if anyone would notice if I wrote "Go fuck yourself!!!" or "You could lose a few!!!". Luckily I'm not a dick.


Will said...

I'm not a dick either, but that would be hilarious. I think I will do that on the next mass signing card I have to scribble something on.

V.J. Civic said...

Having all the birthdays celebrated in one day is good for an office party.

But for me... I celebrate my birthday within a Birthweek of sorts.

It always begins the day before (June 29 and ends on July 4th) Its great to celebrate my birthday and then in a few days celebrate Independance day.

When I am really full of it... I pretend the fireworks are thrown for me. Ha! Of course I am not that egotistical. Its fun to poke fun at myself sometimes.

about a boy said...

lol. funny. thank god we dont do birthdays in this office.