Back in late November, a friend and I were rolling through Evanston for some random reason, when we came across a metal desk, just like the one pictured below in some one's front yard, with a giant "FREE!" sign on it. Sensing this to be some divine opportunity, we pulled over and shoved this heavy fucking desk into the back of my friend's old Chevy Blazer.
And there it remained. Let me tell you...if you ever need to borrow a 1993 Chevy Blazer with a metal desk in the back to get to work, think twice. On 2 occasions I was concerned that the whole hot mess would roll when making a turn. But I digress.
Finally, on Sunday we pulled the desk out of the back of the truck. The reason? We needed room for my friend's pot dealer to sit. So - we left the fucking desk in the narrow corridor behind my apartment building.
Then last night, realizing that my landlord would not appreciate my storing of the fucking desk where I left it, I recruited another friend/next door neighbor to help me move it inside to the basement. This friend isn't a big guy, but he is a professional caddy, meaning that he can carry 2 ass hole's golf bags around for 8+ hours. He's strong.
I, however am a professional asshole, and as such, have the muscles (or lack thereof) to prove it. So when Caddy Friend struggled to literally hold up his end, I was shocked, as I had no problem! Even more shocking, and to our mutual astonishment, I successfully and single handily FLIPPED the fucking desk end over end.
The result? Today I woke up feeling like I was in a car accident. My shoulders (especially the recently broken one), back arms, legs, hell my EVERYTHING is so fucking sore. But at least I have pot to help dull the pain!
THE END
3 comments:
Imagine spending the rest of your existence with a bunch of potheads.
I kind of feel sorry for that desk, Justin!
-Dean
That poor neglected desk....joining the other brick-a-brack in the basement!
just LOSE the desk already.. ha ha ha... great post. later
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